KELLY

I love watching movies because I always get great quotes. One character said to another in Annapolis, "You're my Mississippi." He explained to him that for people from Arkansas like he was, they loved the state of Mississippi because that was the only state stopping them from being the worst in America. Thoroughly explained, it means no matter how bad off you think you are, there's always somebody worse who wishes he was you (you being Arkansas, of course).

Well, I've often felt a little on the wrong side of happy but lately I take comfort in the fact that I'm not Kern Spencer. Yep, this fellow is, at the moment, the person about whom I would say, "He's my Mississippi" the loudest. Now whether the poor lad is guilty/culpable/responsible for any wrongdoing in this whole 'electrifying' affair remains to be determined.

But at the moment, all the eyes and ears are trained on him, waiting to be 'enlightened' further as to what happened. This is one of those incidents that is going to go down in Jamaican history whether for the scam it appears to be or the big misunderstanding that it might turn out to be. As if his Louis Vuitton loafers weren't deep enough in this thing already, he then proceeds to weep in Parliament in front of hundreds (and by the time the papers and television stations got hold of it thousands). The guy officially did not have a good week.

Tough ministry

Kern Spencer wipes his tears after breaking down in Parliament last Wednesday. - Rudolph Brown/Chief Photographer

Now good old Kern is not the only person I'm glad I'm not at the moment. Others on my list include Derrick Smith. National Security is probably the toughest ministry and Mr. Smith is already hearing the boos. Well they did say there was no honeymoon!

I also wouldn't want to be 'Bora' Milutinovic. After only a year in the programme, the Serbian sensation is (it seems) about now back from whence he came, having only a never-heard-of trophy to show for his efforts. Just for the record, I wouldn't want to be the new coach either 'cause the public won't take any more crap.

Internationally, I would not want to be Barack Obama. Sure, on the outside he looks like he's doing fine, but he's trying to be the first black man to win the presidency of the United States. White folks say he ain't white enough, black folks say he ain't black enough. Oh dear!

So if you learn nothing from this, take this one thought with you. Things are never as bad for you as you might think.