Yahneake Sterling, Staff Reporter

The story of friends becoming lovers is often told, but the outcome of such a relationship is not always a happy one. Heartbreak and the loss of a great friend are just two of the repercussions of such a union if it is not properly thought out.

Marlonand Janehave been friends since high school. Both had always admired each other, but the relationship did not go beyond that because both were dating other people.

After graduation the two kept in touch.

Years later, Marlon and Jane found themselves single. Jane was eager to begin a relationship with Marlon. While Marlon seemed interested, he made it clear that he was not up to a serious relationship as he had just broken off a bad one.

The two shared a kiss on their first meeting and less than a week later, they became intimate.

"It was so beautiful, almost magical. I felt like he was the man I was meant to be with," Jane explained.

After the shared intimacy, Jane became clingy, wanting more than just sex and this started to affect the relationship.

Eventually, he asked for a break as things were moving a bit too fast. Jane was distraught.

Question yourself

Lifestyle consultant Dr. Heather Little-White says that before the line of intimacy is crossed, each individual must ask himself or herself certain questions.

First, you need to ask, are you ready for sex?

"Friendship is usually the basis for a good intimate relationship but you both have to be ready to make the leap into intimacy," she tells Flair.

Second, how is it going to impact your whole life?

What is your life pattern? Yes, you are friends, but it is a different sphere when you are intimate. Emotional and mental readiness are important. How you think of yourself in terms of self-esteem is also a consideration.

Third, you need to ask, where do you want to go? Communication is important before you move from one level to the next where it becomes more emotionally charged. You need to have a plan, it's not just about the sex. Maintaining friendship in intimacy is also important.

Obviously, sex only complicated the friendship between Marlon and Jane, leaving one party in despair.

According to Dr. Heather Little-White, "The need factors are different, because they are coming from two different perspectives in terms of needs. Having been friends over the years, she sees him as somebody she can trust."

"He is coming from a different perspective. Yes, he knows her, but having just broken up, he needs time and space, and maybe down the line he would have felt differently. To get into that clingy situation, definitely he is going to retreat," Dr. Little-White added.

The decision by Marlon to get some space caused tension between himself and Jane. But Dr. Little-White says such a friendship is not beyond repair. Talking about it as soon as possible is of essence.

"It's best to talk about it. (Say) I didn't mean for this to happen, but I don't feel any less about you, it hasn't cheapened our friendship," Dr. Little-White notes.

"If you don't want to continue, it's best to just stop the intimacy and just revert to having a good friendship," she adds.

*Names changed

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