Dear Counsellor:

My father died recently and I find myself not sleeping well or feeling happy. I was close to my father and I am wondering at what time I will finish the grieving process.

- Denise

Dear Denise:

Grieving is a process that takes some time to run its course and there is always the anniversary phenomenon and the remembrances. Grieving is a part of life and can be most distressing. Many individuals experience a period of sorrow, numbness and even guilt and anger, followed by the gradual fading of these feelings as they accept the loss and move forward with their lives.

Some people have severe reaction to the death of a loved one. They may focus on the loss and reminders of the loved one. There may be intense longing or pining for the deceased and there is numbness and detachment and problems accepting the death.support of friends, family

The process of grieving requires the support of friends and family to get you through the rough patches. However, some people react terrible to the death of a loved one and may need the help of a professional counsellor and medication for the treatment of depression. There are individuals who specialise in grief counselling and so help is available if the individual needs to get assistance to cope over the immediate period and afterwards.

It is good to keep a scrapbook or album about those cherished moments that you had with your father. His memories will always live on and you have to keep them close.

The period of grieving varies between individuals and some people are in mourning for ever. Some expert says about six months while others say about two years. The memories will live forever.

Dear Counsellor:

I have a son who was diagnosed at age three with Autism Spectrum Disorder. I sent him to speech therapy and now he is able to socialize. I write to you to encourage parents with autistic children to keep hope alive and trust in God.

- Michele

Dear Michele:

Thanks for your encouraging words. Autism Spectrum Disorders are quite common diagnoses. Children are usually diagnosed early and interventions are started early. When such a diagnosis is given the parents experience a sense of loss and experience grief reaction. It is not a diagnosis that parents want to hear. Parents have to adjust to having a child with autism and the implications. The improvement that each child shows varies and speech therapy helps a great deal.

In autism, the children have problems with socialising and with their speech. Some parents can be taught techniques to improve speech and socialising. Some of the children are quite intelligent and show great improvement in their skills.

It is kind of you to want to encourage other parents as parents need a lot of support. There is a support group in Jamaica for families with autistic children.