There is an old saying in Jamaica that goes like this: "He who controls the money, controls the home."

Reverend Peter Garth, making his presentation at the 2007 Victoria Mutual Building Society (VMBS) Marriage and the Family series noted, "In most cases it is the man who controls the money, so he inadvertently controls the home."

The problem, he noted, is that "sometimes the man is not very good at managing money".

A couple will get married and the man will say, "Honey, close all of your accounts, come on my account."

If the wife needs money, the man says, "How much do you need?" She says "$1,000". His response is "does that include the GCT?"

But, when he makes purchase, the wife does not know until he comes home and says that he has bought a brand new boat, and he yells, "Honey, come look at this!"

Nothing to do with it

She didn't have anything to do with it. And, sometimes she would like to buy him a present, but he's asking what she wants the money for.

Rev. Garth notes, "Here money goes into his account, her name is on it, but he controls the books."

Under these conditions, he states women will often request separation of accounts, a situation which often leads to conflict.

The marriage counsellor advises that all financial decisions should made together.

"In the area of finances, understand this in every single marriage major financial decisions must be made jointly. I mean that you can't come home and brag to your wife that "I just bought a house in Hope, Pastures, come and look at it!"

Such an act, he states, is only tolerable when the purchase was acquired extremely cheap and time didn't permit, or you couldn't get your wife on the phone.

"If you want things to work in the area of finance," the counsellor advised, "You have got to make your decisions together.

"If you are going to buy a house or car, you both have got to look at the pros and cons and make a final decision together."

To act in any other fashion will lead to conflict that might in turn end in divorce.

Information source VMBS Marriage and the Family series, 2007.