Angela Philipps, Contributor

Ladies, if you only knew how boring strip clubs were, you would never worry about your man going to one again. I am not kidding you! I have been to a few and the only mystery to me is why some men insist on going so often. It's dead boring! If your man is going to cheat on you, he'll do it anyway. Strip clubs are no more of a temptation than seeing some hot lady in a bar. Sure, there are plenty of naked bodies, sure, these women will walk around collecting money from everyone, but most of them are not that good looking and, to be honest, they leave little to the mind's eye.

I have seen it all, girls. I always wanted to know what all the fuss was about, but frankly, I'm a little disappointed. I expected to seethe best looking of the female gender, with the most gorgeous of bodies and some kind of super-duper rhythm when it comes to dancing. But alas, it is not the case. I've been to go-go clubs in London, New York and Kingston, and I am here to tell you that you have nothing to fret about! If anything, I have had a lesson in human humiliation.

First experience

Let's start with my first experience. Curiosity got the better of me a while back when I was visiting London. Off I trotted with some friends to a very famous joint in the 'City'. Well, for starters, we paid an extortionate amount to enter the place. All in aid of research which made this tolerable!

So the evening went like this - skinny gal steps up to the dance floor, moves her scantily clad body somewhat in time to the music, takes off all her clothes and writhes on the metal pole. After her three-minute allotment, she picks them up and walks off, only to be replaced by the next victim! And on it goes for the entire evening, with a few 'dancers' collecting pound coins, and more, from their spectators. Needless to say, most of the lads there were more interested in plying themselves, and their friends, with lagers and tequilas!

Profits

Anyway, I did find out from the taxi driver, who took me home, that these ladies pay the clubs (and not the other way round) so that they can dance there. Any profits made from tips are their own, and they can make up to a couple hundred pounds on a good night!

Getting the picture girls? Or do I have to tell you about my Jamaican experiences to influence you? Twist my arm, why don't you ... ?

Well there is a 'motel' (or so it is described in a well-known travel guide book) in Kingston, where not much sleeping appears to go on. But the truth is, not much of anything goes on there really. The 'stage' is full of women all gyrating to their own beat and most of the men are playing pool. I was the one who ended up shoving $100 bills into their plastic cups (the ones you drink out of!) while my male companions gambledon who would pocket the 'eight' ball. Need more convincing?

Degrading themselves

I have saved the best for last, and really, this one will just demonstrate to those wives and girlfriends out there, that the mystery of strip clubs still remains: Why the beautiful female souls in our world insist on degrading themselves in such a blatantly perverse way? The 30 minutes I spent at a certain seedy spot on the north coast not only left NOTHING to the imagination, it was an eye-opener to the horrific lengths some people will go to earn a small wad of cash. The fact that your men are making a boys' night of it should not worry you in the slightest ... As I said before, he'll have an affair if he wants to anyway. The 'mysterious' strip club is unlikely to be the cause of his infidelity.

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com