Three weeks into their relationship, Gordon invited Keisha to spend the Easter weekend with him at his home in St. Ann. The drive down was comfortable, and Gordon was good company: Keisha blushed at the look of pleasure on his face when he saw her.

The weekend turned into a week. Gordon was a good host and seemed proud to be with her. He took her everywhere, showed her off to friends. Keisha cooked, cleaned and kept house for him during the day. At night they slept in each other's arms.

A day came, however, when his home phone rang and he asked her to answer it. A woman's voice began by asking for Gordon - then interrupted itself to ask if she was speaking to his sister. Keisha said no, that she was his girlfriend, and the woman abruptly hung up. When Keisha told Gordon, he told her he had no idea who had called. She had no time to be apprehensive: Gordon began kissing and arousing her, and she quite forgot about the woman caller when he pulled her on to the bed, there and then, and made love to her.

The rest of the week was as happy as it had been till then. Keisha returned home feeling she and Gordon were now safely into their relationship.

Back in Kingston, Gordon called her often. He told her he felt like a lost child if he didn't hear her voice for too long; that he missed her all the time when she was not by his side; that no other woman had ever affected him the way she did. Keisha told him she felt the same way about him; that his personality, and even his voice, excited her; that she loved his sense of humour and intelligent way of speaking; that he had a good vibe about him and made her feel important, appreciated. Gordon told her he loved the sexy way she dressed and walked, and the things she did to him, both in and out of the bedroom. He liked that she thought well of him; that she was always concerned about him; that she had seemed to know him from the start. He felt a connection with her, he said, that he had never felt with any other woman.

Keisha didn't know when Gordon decided he was going to ask her to marry him. Truth is, the thought of her with another man disturbed and scared him, and he decided he would have to make her his. It was a Saturday morning, and Keisha was at home doing chores when her cell rang and Gordon told her he had a surprise for her.

She anxiously awaited his arrival. She didn't like surprises, and began to agonise. Had he got tired of her and wanted to give her a gift before breaking up with her? Was he being sent away, so that they wouldn't see each other for a while? Had his friends or family persuaded him they weren't a good match?

She began to panic. What would she do or say if he told her he no longer wanted her? Had he found someone else?

She nervously watched from the window as he alighted from his car and walked towards her. He seemed happy - she wondered why - and she knew he saw her nervousness. Then she saw that he, too, was nervous. Seeing that unnerved her more. When Gordon led her inside the house, she noticed that he was sweating, and she closed her eyes, not wanting to see his face when he told her it was over. But Gordon touched her on the cheek, took a deep breath, then said: 'Keisha, you think you would ever consider marrying someone like me?'

She looked at him, shocked. 'What?'

'How you feel about marrying me? If I asked you, would you do it?'

She took his face in her hands and said: 'Gordon, you're definitely the man I would want to marry.'

He grinned with relief, then reached into his pocket, took out a ring, and said: 'Marry me then.'

Keisha wore the ring with pride. It was a simple-looking ring but she loved it for what it said.

Then, about a month after they were engaged, Keisha began to notice little things. Gordon didn't call her as often as he had; and he often took to hanging out with friends rather than with her. When they did go out together, it often ended in an argument, because Gordon would either flirt with other women in front of her or react angrily to other men flirting with her. Sometimes these arguments ended in heated, make-up sex; sometimes in silence. At the latter times, Keisha tried more than once to talk to him about the situation, but he always shrugged it off or convinced her she was reading too much into things.

And then she noticed that his cellphone was beginning to ring more often than usual, and that he would sometimes go outside to take the call. On occasion, after such a call, he would even leave her at home, saying something had come up, and not return to her that day. On top of these disturbing new changes, almost every other week, it seemed, he would appear driving a different car. When she asked, he told her he had permission to drive the company's cars.

After six months they were still engaged, but no date had yet been set. Keisha began to be apprehensive: since putting the ring on her finger, Gordon had not seemed to want to discuss the matter any further. She had noticed how upset he would get when other men appeared interested in her; now she began to wonder if he had given her the ring to keep her away from other men. When he began wearing condoms with her - something he had never done, not even when they first made love - Keisha became convinced he was cheating on her. But Gordon reminded her that it was she who had suggested that they not get her pregnant until after the wedding.

And then came the night when she saw the long, harsh nail marks on his back. Gordon told her he had got them playing football with his friends.

She decided to break up with him.

But her decision remained just that, a decision - until the night Gordon took her clubbing, then spoke dismissively to her in front of their mutual friend Neville. When she told him she wanted to go home, he derided her as a baby. Keisha fought back, but he became more and more upset; he began to curse her and threatened to crash the car they and Neville were in.

Keisha fell silent, until he appeared to have calmed down. Then, feigning illness, she tried again to persuade him to take her home. Instead, Gordon drove to Princeton Square, to club 'Hi5'. Keisha refused to get out of the car, or to listen when he tried to apologise. Gordon tried to kiss her but she pulled away.

Gordon angrily got out of the car with Neville. Keisha stayed inside and released the tears she had held back. She looked at the ring on her finger and tried to will herself to take it off, but she failed. Then she heard Gordon and Neville talking. She rolled the window down and realised they were talking to other women. In the side mirror she watched Gordon give one of the women what looked to be his phone number. Then Gordon and Neville each walked off with one of the women.

Keisha got out of the car and walked out of the parking lot. At that hour, she knew, it would be impossible to get a taxi to take her home to Rose Hall. But she told herself she would rather die than have Gordon do so - or even touch her, for that matter.

She stood outside the entrance of the parking lot, anxiously fanning her hand at taxis, made apprehensive by the number of men who eyed her as they passed.

It took Gordon about 10 minutes to realise that Keisha was no longer in the car. He knew she would probably not forgive him, but he told himself angrily that she had pushed it. He walked around the parking lot looking for her and calling her name. Finally, he and Neville decided to check outside. He was momentarily happy they had found her, but became angry when she wouldn't acknowledge his presence, wouldn't come with him when he offered to take her home. He grabbed her hand, but she pulled it away and told him to go back to the women he had been hitting on. Gordon told her he had only been trying to get her jealous because he was upset by her behaviour, but Keisha turned her back on him and walked away, to where a group of men were standing. Gordon shouted after her that he was going to get the car, and that when he returned she could either get into it or find her own way home.

When he returned she hissed her teeth and crossed to the other side of the road. He followed her, and tried to sweet-talk her into getting into the car, but she ignored him and walked back over to the group of men. With a screech of tyres, Gordon drove away. Keisha watched, a little alarmed now, wondering how she would get home. But then she saw a taxi heading her way, fanned it down, and explained to the elderly driver that she was stranded and needed a ride home. He charged her $500. As she got in the taxi, she saw Gordon's car doubling back. She turned off her cell, then tried not to remember the events of the night, and forced herself not to cry when she did.

Back home, she tossed and turned in bed until morning. How could she have been so wrong, she asked herself? She had never thought she could be fooled by anyone; and yet the man she had fallen in love with was not the man she been out with last night. She looked at the ring on her finger, took it off and threw it at the wall. At least, she told herself, I saw his real self before it was too late. She felt all torn up inside, and she wondered how she could ease her pain. No man had ever affected her as he had, and she had never before felt the pain she was feeling now. She wondered if she had been blinded by the connection she had felt to him. And she wondered, too, if he had proposed to her because, somehow, he had found her desperate and easy. Did she really do something to cause him to act the way he had, as he had said? 'No!' Her brain screamed. 'No! He's the one at fault. Not you. He's the one who created this mess, not you!'

She didn't turn on her cell until 10 that morning, by which time she was feeling better about how she had handled the situation and the fact that she had not weakened. She knew she couldn't hide from him forever, and that, no matter what she thought or how she felt, they would eventually have to speak. Just as she began tidying the house, her phone rang, and Gordon's number flashed on the screen. She smiled sadly but didn't answer it.

That night she finally did.

'Hi, Wifey,' his seductive, silky voice said over the line.

'What is it, Gordon? You want blood this time?'

'You're mad at me, Wife? I was looking for you last night. I almost went mad. How you reached home and why you turned off your phone?'

'First of all,' Keisha replied, 'I'm not your wife. Secondly, don't call me again, Gordon. You turned out to be a real bastard and I don't want to have anything to do with you. You wanted free sex and you got it. Now it's time to move on.'

'Keishe, you know it wasn't like that. You and I move different than that, Keisha. I know I messed up, but I was angry last night.'

Keisha said nothing.

'Keisha,' he said softly, 'You're done with me? I will kill myself if you break up with me.'

Still no response.

'Keisha, you don't want me anymore? Is you alone I love, you know, Keisha. You can't do this to us. Remember you said you would marry me. You don't miss me last night? You don't want me in you, Keishe?'

Keisha felt pain tug at her heart. She ignored both it and the hurt she heard in his voice. 'Gordon,' she said dejectedly, 'I don't want to see or hear anything from you ever again. By the way,' she yelled in a sudden burst of temper, 'what you calling me for? Why you don't call the Old Foot you gave your number to?' And she hung up.

She had let him get under her skin. She had promised herself she would be calm, cool and collected when she spoke to him. 'Bastard,' she screamed at the walls of her house. 'How could you do this to me ... to us? How could you treat me like that? I thought we had something good going.' She sobbed. 'Now we have nothing. I hate you so much.' She began to cry. She hugged herself as she sat on the couch and contemplated a future without Gordon. She ignored the ringing of her cell phone, and finally cried herself to sleep.

It took Keisha nearly two weeks before she could have a halfway-decent conversation with Gordon. He refused to allow her to forget him; he called her constantly, and left numerous apologetic and amorous messages in her voice mail, even recordings of songs that were supposed to show how he really felt about their break-up. He begged her not to give up on him and promised to change. He told her he loved her a lot and that it was his love for her that caused him to behave foolishly at times. He told her he had never meant to hurt her. Over and over again, he asked for a second chance.

It wasn't until Neville and Carl called on his behalf that Keisha decided to give him one. They told her that Gordon had not been the same since that night, that he was truly sorry for what had happened. Neville told her he had never seen Gordon react so badly to a break-up. She was all Gordon ever talked about, he told her, and he had been looking forward to marrying her. Now, he said, Gordon was starting to behave abnormally; he had begun to drink and was talking of killing himself if she didn't take him back. Neville asked her to reconsider, and he suggested she focus on what it was that had attracted her to Gordon instead of what had happened that one night.

Keisha realised she was still in love with Gordon, and decided to give him another chance. She went with him and Neville to Reich Falls the following Saturday. Gordon behaved exactly like the man she had fallen in love with. He was attentive, courteous and loving. At first she was hesitant about his touching her, but after a while she began to relax and enjoy his company. While Neville amused himself watching the antics of the beachgoers, Gordon took her to one side and told her he was glad she had decided to give them another try. He told her he had felt lost with her, that he realised how he had hurt their relationship. And he apologised and asked her not to let that one night spoil their future together. Keisha made it plain she had not liked his behaviour and told him she had only agreed to meet him as Neville had convinced her they needed to talk. She told him not to take her being there to mean that all was well. Gordon caught her to him and told her the fact that she had agreed to meet was good enough for him.

They sat together on the sand, talking. They spoke about their expectations of the relationship and agreed to discuss issues affecting them rather than reacting to them. Soon they stopped talking and became lost in each other's company, enjoying the sunset and the cool evening breeze; and soon Gordon persuaded her to sit on his lap. His arms were wrapped around her, his chin was on her shoulder, and as she sat there she felt his erection. She thought he would have tried to make love to her, but instead they sat there, taking in the beautiful scenery. It was not until, driving home, Gordon let Neville off at his gate and drove to her home that they were together in that way again. They spent the rest of the night and part of the next day talking and cuddling each other.

A month later, Gordon was in a near-fatal car accident. Over the weekend, Keisha had tried calling him all day but had been unable to reach him; and Neville, too, hadn't heard from him. It was unusual for Gordon not to call her all day or answer any of his cell phones. Keisha began to fear the worst.

She didn't reach him until late the next afternoon; then he sounded weak and vulnerable on the phone. When he told her was had happened and that he was in hospital, she asked him why he hadn't called her sooner. He explained that he had been in much pain and had only given the names of close family members to be called.

She was hurt, but told herself it was an oversight. And she told him she loved him and was glad his injuries were not life threatening and that she would soon be by his side. He rang off telling her he loved her and that he was going to get some sleep: the medication had made him drowsy.

The following day, Keisha arrived at the hospital to find a woman seated at Gordon's bedside. They seemed to have been deep in conversation, and when Keisha cleared her throat to announce her presence, and Gordon looked up and smiled at her, the woman looked away guiltily. The woman left when Keisha walked over to Gordon and kissed him on his cheek, and Keisha asked Gordon who she was. He said she was a friend. They talked about his injuries and thanked their lucky stars they had not been more serious.

But something Gordon said made her realise that 'family' was not the first person Gordon had asked the hospital to call. She had asked him where he would stay when he was discharged and he'd told her 'a friend of the family' had agreed to put him up until he got better. That friend was also footing his hospital bill. Keisha asked why he had never mentioned the friend before and he told her that the person lived abroad but had a house in Beverly Hills.

Three days after Gordon was discharged from hospital, Keisha got a call from him on her land line. She had not expected it: he hadn't told her he had been discharged, nor about where he would be staying. Keisha realized that, despite his protestations, Gordon was proving not to be serious about her. She asked how he was doing; if his injuries were healing properly. He told her he missed her and was looking forward to seeing her and to giving her 'some good loving'. Keisha had a lot of questions, but she restrained herself in light of his recent ordeal. He told her he loved her and that, even though he was not there physically, she should still continue to love him.

After hanging up, Keisha realised she missed Gordon very much. She wondered if he was indeed okay and prayed that his injuries would not affect him in later life. Then she began to wonder about his 'friend of the family'. The person must have been more than a good Samaritan to have been willing to take care of his hospital bill.

Later that night, realising that she needed to hear the sound of his voice again, she decided to call him before going to bed. She checked her Caller ID and redialed the number he had called from. A woman answered the phone.

'Who is this? Keisha asked. Then: 'Is Gordon there?'

'This is Gordon's girlfriend. Who is calling?'

'This is his fianc.'

The woman dropped the phone and Keisha heard when she angrily yelled for Gordon to pick up. When he did, Keisha, too, yelled at him for leading her on. Then she told him never to call her again.

After she hung up, she blocked the number.

The following day, she mistakenly took a call from him: he had phoned from a private number. He tried to convince her she had read too much into his situation with the woman, which was temporary, and that the woman was only looking after his immediate needs. Listening to him, Keisha wondered if he knew how badly his words were hurting her. Each word he spoke drove a dagger into her heart. She cried silently as he went on about his relationship with the woman, but when he stopped she managed to ask him, calmly enough, if the woman was the reason he used to leave her after sharing her bed. He confirmed that the woman was indeed the one who used to call and that the cars he drove were hers. He also admitted that they had been sleeping together, and the scratch marks she had seen on his back had been made by her. He told her he had wanted to come clean before, but had held back, thinking she would have left him. And he told her he loved her more than he did any other woman, but that the woman offered him certain privileges which he had come to enjoy. He asked her to be patient and wait until he got better; then things would return to being the way they had been.

Keisha couldn't keep listening; she hung up. Feeling as if she were going out of her mind, she sat staring at the wall, forcing herself not think. She drew her legs up under her and hugged them and felt the tears begin to flow. As the sobs rocked her body, she silently prayed for the strength to go on.

Neville called her later that night on Gordon's behalf. Before he could say anything, Keisha told him what had happened. Now Neville, surprisingly, told her to stop seeing Gordon and to move on with her life. She deserved better, he said. He told her that Gordon's had shocked him and that he felt bad for having called her to support him.

After hanging up, Keisha took the ring Gordon had given her, cut it into two with a pair of pliers, and threw it in the dustbin. When Gordon called shortly afterwards, she told him what she had done, and how his friend had encouraged her to break it off. Gordon became upset. He had bought the ring with the truest of intentions, he said, and Neville was no friend.

Keisha felt a small satisfaction that she had hurt him. But she knew he would soon get over it.

Not able to stand the sound of his voice any longer, nor wanting to remember how deeply he had hurt her, she told him never to call her again, and wished him and his woman well.

Then she sat down and allowed herself to cry uncontrollably, chiding herself for not seeing him as he truly was. Eventually she fell asleep, exhausted.

And next day, after seeing the number of missed calls from Gordon on her cell and listening to his many voice messages, she dragged herself out of bed, made her way down to the local phone company, and changed all her contact numbers.

END

- Yasmin McDonald