Carmen Bowen-Wright
PLEASE REMEMBER true Wellness means good physical, spiritual and mental health. All three are influenced either positively or negatively by the nature of a particular relationship.
What is a relationship? I consider it to be interaction between one human and another. The interaction which exits within groups of persons such as the family or community: lastly the interaction between person or persons with their God - not just the God of Christianity, but of all religions.
The interaction alluded to above, can be tangible as in physical relationships. However it is more often emotional, spiritual or all three. At times it may be non existent. Readers please remember that situations that foster wellness was discussed in part · last week.
SITUATIONS THAT FOSTER POOR RELATIONSHIPS
A sterile workplace. By that is meant, for example, a place people report for work, work all day and leave at the end of a day. They have no amenities such as sports, clean bathrooms or an area assigned to eat lunch. The boss drives them but seldom complements them. Employees develop bad relationship with resentment, disloyalty and dislike of both management and the place. Such situations give rise to reduced productivity, and stress related illnesses. When such persons are asked, why not resign? They will tell you the money is good. They also say the fear of being out of a job for a prolonged periods drive them to continue. Many of these persons end up visiting their doctor very often. Sometimes for depression, elevated Blood Pressure elevated Blood Sugar, recurrent sinusitis and various pains and aches.
Many mothers all over Jamaica but more it would seem, in Kingston and St Andrew, leave their children to go abroad. They go to seek better economic means in a first world Country such as U.S.A., Canada or UK. This in itself is not a bad motive. However they end up abandoning their children who may have been left with a friend, neighbour or grandparent. These children are referred to as "Barrel Children". They receives barrels of the most expensive and fashionable clothes and other amenities especially at Christmas. However they hardly get a chance to hear mother's voice. They definitely yearn for her caress, caring and love to bolster their self confidence and emotional unwellness, triggered by her absence. Many of these children develop very undesirable health features. Some eat themselves into Obesity while some undernourish themselves with inappropriate and/or inadequate food intake, giving rise to excessive weight loss. Some become difficult and uncontrollable. Some teens revolt against society by resorting to gunmanship. This situation really destroys all aspects of their wellness due to a poor relationship with mother. In addition many have no fathers to interact with. In other words relationships with their parents are non existent so health deteriorates.
I did say human sexuality is interesting and so I want to return to it. Many women and men experience abuse of their sexuality. Rape is well known and what it does to some women who have experienced it - it destroys physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing and wellness. However I want to focus on sex in midlife or 'no sex' in midlife. It Fosters much unwellness and ill health. Many men loose their ability to erect usually due to long standing illness and or medications. It is not discussed with their partners. Instead they begin 'to turn their backs' at night to the partner. Similarly women who are postmenopausal may be having physical discomfort with sex, although they desire it. They do not discuss it with their doctor or male partner. Good Relationships soon breakdown. The woman may accuse the man of having an outside woman (sometimes it is true) most times it is not. He also might accuse her of similar imagined infidelity. In either example, the man or woman can become depressed, anxious and withdrawn. Many couples are reluctant to dialogue and/or seek counseling. As a result, mental and spiritual wellness is challenged. Earlier in the script some alternates to genital to genital sex were proposed. Those simple techniques could bring healing and restore wellness.
SPIRITUALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED
Finally, some young men are spiritually and emotionally abused by partners. In my practice it has been seen mostly between women of a higher educational or financial status. Also women with physically more powerful statue.
They are usually very highly sexed and demanding of their partners. The young men often develop pre ejaculatory syndrome or 'soft erections'. Many of these problems when checked out are usually psychological. Counseling of the couples and stressing the importance of adequate, foreplay usually curbs the condition. So, women remember that it is not only men who abuse!
Dear readers, these examples of situations that impact either positively or negatively on relationships are not inexhaustible. Check out your own relationship and work to "mend fences". Until I write again, I bid you good relationships and so continued WELLNESS.
Dr. Carmen Bowen-Wright is a preventive medicine specialist and wellness physician; phone: 9274301; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com
