Amina Blackwood Meeks, Contributor
POOR MISS Lady. You dun know sey she nuh leave har house often from time immemorial. Mostly because she sey everyting dat she needs to know comes to her on de breezes of meditation. But quite apart from dat, outa street deh nuh pretty. Is like everybody only want fe see demself wan pan de street. Anyting else aggravate dem.
An Miss Lady sey it come in to har like de most aggravating ting fe some people now is hooman an girl children. So she decide fe meck dem know sey is nat dem why she nuh come a road. So jus in case dem get it inna dem head sey dem have any power fe curtail har movements she dress up de adda day an decide fe go into one plaza.
Well she sey firs she did tink sey she an some odda people coincide pan de same notion of show-yu-face at de same time. For dere was a banns of hooman an pikney a walk up a dung like dem a demonstrate fe something. Dem a go inna store and come out a store in excited droves. So she decide fe falla backa one a de droves dem into one such store.
She sey is a good ting de Creator had fashioned in har a strong heart. A shoppin de people dem a shoppin. It was like a grand Chrismas Market, clear up into de second week of October. She a wanda who change up de tings an nuh tell har.
Me dear people, unnu haffe call up Miss Lady unnuself if unnu wan de exack an frightening description of what she sey de people dem was buying. Some quality mask and plastic skeleton an long teeth an devil wid fork. An when she teck it unto herself fe survey couple a dem she get de understanding sey dem was shopping fe one sinting name Halloween.
Is like certain school into de place decide sey Halloween Party is a vital part of de children's education and dem parents did agree, because according to Miss Lady de ghost sinting dem were not cheap. Well, it not cheap to she. She sey she is well aware dat cheap is relative, in fack de whole a fe har relatives dem experience de difference between cheap and expensive on a daily basis.
NOT OF OUR CULTURE
Be that as it may, dat was not har main bone of contention. Har contention was dat nat one a de plastic bone dat dem was buying up as part of dis vital piece of education did look like dem belong to anybody dat she did know. So foofah bones was so essential to de pikney dem education?
She start wander to herself if any of de teacher dem who plan dis lovely hallowed ceremony did ever plan a trip fe go dung a Seville Great House outa St. Ann fe see de monument what dem buil to de two Black people dem who fah remains dem did fine dere. For Miss Lady sey something dat always concern har is how fe de millions of Black people what ded pan Backra plantation Massa Gad bless de couple burial sites dat can be found as evidence.
She sey sometimes it meck har wanda if is true what dem sey dat we never ded at all, we jus get up one day an walk back to Africa an who have yeye fe see did see an de balance of dem jus never did fe see. All Nanny, she was a terrific duppy. Up to dis day she a haunt de daylights outa some a dem. Dem sey dem shoot har and she never ded. Dem sey she never exist. Dem sey she did exist but dem nuh know nutten much bout har, on de account of which dem nuh tink it right fe elevate har to a certain level of status of celebration. But coo pan de status an celebration dat Halloween cause we fe confer pan de ghosts of people who we doan even have a name or a supposed address fah!
HALLOWEEN AND GHOSTS
An dat is de next ting. Miss Lady sey nuff a all who a get chills an spills over Halloween duppy declare in dem properness dat dem do not believe in ghosts and duppies. But she sey it come in to har like sey is ongly local ghosts dem don't believe in. For she know one a dem who wudda siddung front a fe har television set 24/7 an watch every channel what show how people into farin go into derelict building wid reporter and ghost-catcher an frighten demself wid how farin duppy into ole haunted farin building can communicate wid de living an tell dem who commit what fram dankey was a bwoy dat cause de building to be haunted.
Mose time, Miss Lady sey she herself do not see de point of dat kind of spending an allocation of resources for dere is nobaddy to bring to courthouse an no trial to conduck. Jus smaddy sey killing did gwaan. But nuff a who siddung an watch dem farin ghosts an farin ghost catchers and teck it tun local cocktail party conversation wudda never give a penny fe certain schools can enter de traditional dance segment of a JCDC competition. Dem dung ya a preach, yes, literally preach inna pulpit sey dinki mini an kumina an ettu an such a devil worship.
Miss Lady sey de adda day she was at a very boasy school function wid nuff officials an big brain learning people. An de children dem was performing all kinds of wonders pan de stage, sing an dance an recite at a standard fe set standard anywhere in de world. She sey she siddung backa wan spokefy hooman who was enjoying de ting till a school get up an into de miggle of a song start chant an yoddle.
Hear de hooman, "My word, they are calling down fallen angels, now." Miss Lady she nuh know which part it fly up inna fe har head fe ge out, "Den nuh God dem a help, for him did call down couple one time, too." Den she a de hooman start talk an she ask har how she know sey is fallen angels de children dem was calling. De hooman sey because dem was speaking in tongues. Now here is de ting. She sey she cannot speak in tongues, she cannot translate it, she do not recognise de individual words but she know what people sound like when dem enter de realms of de devil. Miss Lady sey out of deference to de occasion she didn't badda to ask har where she stay an hear when people is inside of de realms of de devil.
For all who doan like Jamaican duppies an de yoddling an tramping into de dinkimini an such glad fe go all uppa Scotland where a feature tourist attraction is some senior ghost field trip uppa Mile High Road. People inna castle a pose fe teck pickcha wid ghost, people gane talk to Jack de Ripper fe fine out meck him do what dem sey him do. An if dem nuh get fe go deh so, dem inna Ripley's Believe it or Not, dem naw miss a episode of 'Twilight Zone'. But tell dem bout fe we duppy now, meck dem ever see yu a carry likkle rum go sprinkle pan yu fada grave and see how much hell pop.
Miss Lady sey a so we nuh like weself till we deny we owna duppy. A so dem grow we fe believe sey everyting from farin superior to all tings local, till all farin duppy get big expensive party a Jamaica an people dida call de Haitians dem all kind a name when dem did sey dem want to give dem dead a proper burial wid fe dem duppy ceremony dung a Montpelier de adda day.
An a so comes she decide fe go dung a Seville. She sey she is spending de whole night down dere, she an Crystal relatives dem. For de whole a dem sad how dem sen Crystal gane back a Ghana an she meck a pact wid de two who remains dat every year dem is going to have a hallowed e'en right dehso in rememberance of duppy who look like we. Selah.
