Robinson

Bah, Humbug!! What's this 'Christmas' really all about? The first thing that it's not about is the birth of Christ. No one knows for certain when Christ was born but we all know, for sure, that it was not December 25. There's a lot of religious blather about 'the true meaning of Christmas'. However, that one is also easy as the word 'Christmas' originates from the Olde English phrase Cristes Maesse. Don't panic, I know it's not patois (oops, sorry, 'creole') but it's only a latin-rooted word with a diphthong.

Cristes Maesse is a combination of the Greek Christos and the Latin Missa (this from the 1913 Catholic Encyclopedia - diphthong and all). It literally means 'Christ's Mass', although Jesus Himself never sought to build or develop a Church and certainly never conducted a Mass. He did have mass meetings (some very poorly attended by modern Church standards) and did give some pretty nifty spiritual lessons ('sermons'?) but never once passed the plate despite his Apostles' persistent nagging to do so. His gatherings didn't include unhealthy mandatory resource-sharing like 'communion' (almost sounds Marxist), a modern-day bastardisation of the Last Supper, and he never, ever threatened anyone with hellfire, damnation or vengeance. His message was 'One Love'.

Economic excess

But, today, organised religion celebrates this non-existent 'Christ's Mass' with a vulgar display of economic excess that would have embarrassed Jesus. Of course, 'good' Christians begin the day attending Church before joining the only-born-once, unwashed and unsaved masses in an orgy of gift giving (Moral: it's more blessed to give but more fun to receive); gluttony, joyous partying and alcoholic intake (features associated more with the original Santa Claus than Jesus) in expensively decorated homes surrounded by criss SUVs and imprisoned by electronic security gates. This classical bipolar syndrome is completed in January when the bills come and can't be paid.

Bah, Humbug!

Don't start me on the pre-Christmas nativity productions. Where does this beatific scene of Joseph, Mary and Baby Jesus, living in stables surrounded by animals, come from? Not the Bible.

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David) to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. (Luke 2:4-7)

Please note that the laying of the Baby (not the parents) in "a manger" took place after birth. Maybe children weren't allowed in the Inn. Maybe they couldn't afford a crib (or a room with a crib) or inns didn't provide cribs in those days. "No room", even in English, doesn't necessarily mean "full". And, contrary to religious folklore, a manger is not a stable. Strictly speaking, a manger is a box of carved stone or wood, used in those days to hold food for animals. I am convinced that, if the original language of the scriptures is scrutinised, rather than trying to find an English word for everything, 'manger' will be the BC equivalent of what we call a bassinet or was what the young mother tun she han' an' mek fashon and used as a bassinet.

Only path to 'heaven'

Anyhooooo, Mary "laid" her son in a manger after His birth, He was not born in a manger. This fantasy of Joseph and Mary arriving in Bethelem the night of the birth and being denied a place to sleep, or to deliver the Baby, is yet another invention of the modern Church (like the "Fear of God") used to manipulate us into believing that man's creation, the Church, is the only path to 'heaven'.

The story is told by Matthew from the perspective of the wise men

When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.

When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy. And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him. (Matthew 2:9-11).

Egad! The Holy Family was living in a house!

Christmas was first introduced as a feast and remains so to this day. Before 354AD, Christ's birth was celebrated as part of the Epiphany (January 6) but the Roman Catholics began promoting the December Feast, as a marketing strategy, in 378. Within 1,000 years, the holiday had become the definitive social occasion and, in 1377, King Richard II of England hosted a Christmas feast at which 28 oxen and 300 sheep were eaten. Recent sincere attempts by the Roman Catholics to gently prod the event back to Christ haven't been very successful.

Christmas? Christ's Mass? The Birth of Christ? Bah, Humbug!

Peace and love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com