Thomas

This is the final instalment from the soon-to-be-released second edition of the book, Confronting Suicide: Helping Teens at Risk, by Dr Donovan Thomas.

If parents knew the agony that children go through during a divorce, they would stay married and try to resolve their differences. Here is the account given by a Jamaican teenager who lived in a dysfunctional nuclear family:

My name is Keisha (a pseudonym). I was born in the parish of Westmoreland. I'm from a family of four, my mother, father, brother and myself. When I was 16 years of age some conflicts developed within my family. My parents just could not get along anymore, and then they finally came to a decision to be separated. That was when all the problems started in my life.

Upon their separation, my parents started fighting for me; my mother wanted me and my father wanted me. I just did not know what to do because I love them both, but at the same time, I was only thinking of money. I wanted to stay with my father because he has a lot of money, more than what my mother has.

They took the matter to court and during the time in which the lawyers questioned me, I said that I wanted to stay with my father, but the judge made a decision that I should stay with my mother. I did not know this would be the worst time of my life.

The change

After a week of being with my mother she started to change. At that time I was in first form of high school. If I came a little late, she would quarrel and tell me that I was just like my father. One day when I was home, one of my friends came to look for me. She said that she was going to the library and I should go with her.

Unfortunately, I did go but I came home late. On my arrival I met my mother waiting for me in the house. She did not seek to find out where I was coming from. She just started to quarrel and then she beat me very badly. I did not know what to do. While I was in my bed that night, I decided that I was going to run away.

In the morning when my mother was at work, I packed a bag and left for my grandmother's house. On reaching there I found out that no one was at home so I sat outside and waited on her. When she came home, she was so shocked because she was saying that my mother was looking for me and here I was sitting outside of her house.

Anyway, she said that she was taking me back home, and she did. When I went inside of the house, I saw my mother and the only thing that she did was beat me and said that I should have run a little further. That night I said that it was the last day of my life. The next day when I got up, at about 10 o'clock, I went inside of the bathroom with three bottles of pressure pills, one bottle of Indian Root pills (for the goats), and a bottle of Ventolin (for asthmatic persons). I took them all and then I fainted.

I did not know anything more until I was revived in the hospital about six hours later. My friend told me that she was the one who found me on the bathroom floor. While I was in the hospital my mother did not even come and look for me. She said that I should have died, but I said that I was just going to ignore her. Even a day after, when I came back home, she did not talk to me, and I did not talk to her.

Sometimes when I was supposed to go to school, I just sat in the park and thought about my life. I could not eat or sleep. I just did not know how I really cope. About a week after that my friend invited me to her church and I went with her.

The change

While the pastor was preaching I heard him quote a scripture. It went like this: "when your parents forsake you the Lord will take you." At that same moment I got converted and I was baptised the following night. I went home and I told her that I am now a new person and I won't be keeping any malice with her.

I apologised to her and she apologised to me also and that was where all my problems ended. I really have to thank God for changing my life because if it wasn't for Him, I just don't know where I would be right now.

Probably dead, I suppose!

Dr Donovan Thomas is the founder and president of Choose Life International, a non-profit suicide-intervention organisation. He is the immediate past national director of Jamaica Youth for Christ, a post he held for 15 years. He holds a doctorate in ministry and has done extensive research on the subject 'Confronting Suicidal Propensity Among Jamaican Teenagers'. He can be reached at: 869-3403/ 920-7924 or email: donovanthomas@chooselifeintl.org.