Cooper

In a letter to The Gleaner published on Monday, Dave McFarlane contemptuously dismisses as "all trivial" my concerns about quality assurance in university education in Jamaica these days. He's right. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the primary meaning of the word 'trivial' is the following: 'belonging to the trivium of mediaeval university studies.' These three subjects were logic, grammar and rhetoric (the art of communication).

The trivium was the foundation for the quadrivium, which consisted of arithmetic, geometry, music and astronomy. Because the basic trivium courses appeared to be much more easy than the quadrivium, the word 'trivial' came to be used to define matters of relative unimportance.

Essential learning tools

Of course, all of this 'rhetoric' may seem quite trivial to Mr McFarlane. But as a teacher of literature and language, I know that logic, grammar and rhetoric are essential tools for learning. It's clear that a lot of people simply don't understand what they read. For example, Mr McFarlane claims that I don't "see virtue in a young, black Jamaican heading a department to study and promulgate information on one of our national heroes - Garvey."

That is absolutely not true. This is what I actually say: "Hydel is also establishing a chair in Marcus Garvey studies. A university chair is not a piece of furniture. It is an honour conferred on a professor with a distinguished record of scholarly publications. To the best of my knowledge, the candidate who has been named to occupy the Hydel chair does not fit this high profile."

Incidentally, in his impas-sioned article in the Sunday Gleaner, "Don't 'Coop' up Garvey," Professor Golding fails to identify himself as the Hydel chair. Perhaps he doesn't want to admit that he's a graduate of a 'real-real' university, Johns Hopkins, where he would certainly not be qualified for any professorial chair. Only at Hydel.

Throwing stones

Furthermore, as a reputed Garvey scholar, Prof Golding needs to get 'trivial' Garvey facts right. To substantiate his claim that Marcus Garvey would have approved of Hyacinth Bennett's Hydel enterprise, Prof Golding asserts that the Endich Theological Seminary is one of three universities established by Marcus Garvey. But this is not so. It was George Alexander McGuire, Garvey's former chaplain in the UNIA, who set up the seminary as part of his own independent church-building enterprise - after he left the UNIA.

'Old-time people seh when yu fling stone inna hog pen, di one weh bawl out a im get lick.' It would appear that I've thrown quite a big stone into the proverbial pen of the university sector since so many metaphorical fat hogs are squealing. I don't know if Mr MacFarlane, like Prof Golding, has a vested interest in any of the 'university fi stone dog.' In any case, he needs to take a refresher course in at least one of the 'trivial' courses: rhetoric.

Produce stalwarts

Mr McFarlane advises that the "University of Technology and Northern Caribbean University and many others of our local tertiary institutions are not just 'real, real universities and institutions', but they continue to produce stalwarts who serve our beautiful country with selflessness and distinction." I largely agree. You don't even need a degree, whether from a 'real-real' university or not, to serve your country well. And I've not ever proposed that the University of the West Indies, Mona, is Jamaica's only 'real-real' university. I'm always careful to use the indefinite article 'a' - not the definite article 'the.'

But paying attention to grammar isn't always enough. Communication is a two-way process and readers often fail this trivial subject. So Mr McFarlane claims that I "passionately push ... for black Jamaican women to win the Miss Jamaica World beauty contest." What I actually say is this: "In my equal opportunity beauty contest everybody is a winner." Not just black women.

And though I'm delighted that Mr McFarlane seems to think I'd be an excellent candidate for "next year's Miss Jamaica", it's obvious he needs to get his eyes tested. I'm way past the age limit for these 'spring-chicken' contests. But I promise Mr McFarlane that when Pulse adds to its suite of contests the 'All Fruits Ripe Miss Jamaica,' I'll definitely enter the ring in the fighting spirit of Lennox Lewis.