Q We are a couple in our 30s and about to get married, but we don't know a lot about sex. In fact, we are both virgins, Doctor.

We want to make our marriage a happy and loving one, and have children. Naturally, we want a successful sexual relationship.

We have studied various books, and looked at some articles on the Internet. We have also read what you have written in the Outlook, and we understand that for the woman, the 'key' to sexual satisfaction is the clitoris.

All the authorities seem to agree that if the woman is to have an orgasm and feel fulfilled, the clitoris has to be stimulated quite intensively.

However Doc, what we cannot understand is this: how is the clitoris supposed to be stimulated during sexual intercourse?

We cannot work out how the penis, which is presumably inside the vagina, can be stimulating the clitoris at the same time. If we understand the anatomy correctly, the clitoris is NOT actually inside the vagina, but OUTSIDE it, and up towards the belly.

So what is the man supposed to do?

We think that maybe the idea is that at the beginning of each forward 'stroke', he should somehow push or rub the clitoris with his penis, before carrying on into the vagina.

Is this correct, Doctor? Or are we mistaken?

If we are right, then presumably the guy should continue to try and do this on every forward stroke? That must be difficult.

A I must say that I wish you both well. Because you are so keen to have a successful, happy and loving marriage, I am sure you will succeed. It is good that you have tried to research this important subject.

What you say about the clitoris is perfectly correct. It IS the key to women's sexual pleasure. And it is very difficult for most women to 'discharge' unless the clitoris is stimulated.

Also, the clitoris is approximately where you say. It is directly downwards from the navel. And if you run your fingertips down through the pubic hair, you will reach it, shortly before you arrive at the vagina.

If you are still in any doubt about its location, any midwife, nurse or doctor could help you to see precisely where it is.

It was in the 1970s that it was first realised, that women needed clitoral stimulation in order to achieve sexual satisfaction. At that time, quite a lot of couples thought about the situation, just as you have, and decided that they should try to ensure that the penis 'hit against' the clitoris as it entered the vagina.

In the United States, many persons attempted what was jokingly referred to as 'pole-vaulting', because of the fact that the husband would try to 'bang' the tip of his penis against the wife's clitoris, before continuing onwards into the vagina.

That technique is NOT totally impossible, but it is very difficult, especially when the guy is inexperienced. And attempting to do it on every single 'forward stroke' is far from easy.

Sex researchers next invented the Coitally Adjusted Technique (CAT) technique'.

This technique involves the man lying much higher on the bed than he normally would. The result of that is that while his penis is inside the woman's vagina, the base, or thickest part, does rub against the clitoris.

But I must tell you that it is not easy and I cannot really guarantee its success.

For that reason, I would say that for most couples, the best guarantee of the wife being satisfied is for her husband to take care to rub her clitoris with his fingertips, not only before intercourse but during.

That particular manual skill is certainly not all that easy to achieve. But next week, I will explain how it can be done.

Meanwhile, good luck with your marriage plans.

Q Because I smoke, my doctor will no longer prescribe the Pill for me. So he wants me to go on the 'Mini-Pill' which he says is a lot safer. Is he correct? And how would I use this Mini-Pill?

A Well, the Mini-Pill is completely unlike the ordinary Pill, because it contains one hormone instead of two.

This makes it quite unlikely to cause a clot (thrombosis). Therefore, doctors do often prescribe it for women who are at some risk of clotting, for instance:

Women over the age of 35;

Heavy smokers;

Those with a past history of clots;

Those with a family history of clotting;

Diabetics.

Also, the mini-Pill is very frequently prescribed for breast-feeding mothers, because of the fact that it does NOT 'stop' the milk, which is something that the ordinary Pill is very likely to do.

A lot of women take the Mini-Pill these days. Very importantly, they have to take it every day of the year.

You do NOT have a week's break, as you would with the ordinary Pill. Also, you must try to take it at about the same time each day. Otherwise, you might get pregnant.

Q I am in my 50s, and considering marrying a much younger woman.

Would you recommend that I get some Viagra, doctor?

A No. Most men in their 50s are sexually 'potent', and have no need for Viagra.

But if you are worried about 'losing your nature', check with a doctor.

Q Ever since I started working in the hairdressing business, I have had itchy patches on my fingers and palms.

Why?

A This is probably a form of eczema or dermatitis, and it is almost certainly due to a bad reaction, from whatever you are using while working.

So I think you should show your inflamed hands to a doctor immediately. I am afraid that it is just possible that you may have to give up this job and find another.

Q To settle an argument between my friend and me, could you tell us whether it is possible for a woman to be allergic to a particular man's sex fluid?

A Yes, that is certainly possible, although it is real rare.

What usually happens is that the lady develops soreness, swelling and itching, within an hour or two after having sex with a guy.

In order to find out if there really is an allergy, what the couple should do is to have sex using a CONDOM. If the condom prevents the symptoms from occurring, then it is highly likely that the woman is indeed allergic to the man's seminal fluids.