Dear Counsellor:

My spouse has problems getting and keeping an erection. This has interfered with our love life. What can be done to deal with this problem?

- Mary

Dear Mary:

Premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction is a very common condition. It causes men to be embarrassed and lack confidence. These men are preoccupied with their sexual problems and this can worsen the disorder.

Both of you need to see your doctor to discuss the issues. A sexual history of both partners is needed. This will have to be done individually and confidentially. Most people do not want to talk about their sexual past with their spouse.

Erectile dysfunction can be psychological or physical in origin. Usually it is a combination of both. Individuals with diabetes mellitus and hypertension can develop erectile dysfunction.

Men can be treated with medication to get a long-lasting erection. This can help a great deal. Psychologically, men need to deal with the lack of confidence, the anxiety and the loss of esteem. Cognitive-behaviour therapy is useful to help men cope with their sexual problems. The female needs to be involved because she can assist the male to function better. There is the squeeze technique which can help with premature ejaculation.

Preschool anxieties

Dear Counsellor:

My three-year-old will be starting preschool after being home with private tutoring. I worry about her adjusting to a new environment.

- Susan

Dear Susan:

As we develop, there are transitions for each of us. When a child leaves home for school for the first time, it is a major transition. She will need to get used to parents leaving her for a day and returning in the evening. She would have got used to parents leaving home and returning later. As time passes, she will adjust to these new faces.

Expect some crying and clingy behaviour. She may regress by wetting her bed at night or sucking her finger. We all try to comfort ourselves in our own way. Parents have to make the adjustments as well so there may be tears on both sides. Take her to school before it reopens to familiarise herself with the environment.

Some children have more separation issues than others. Roll with the tide and deal with issues as they arise. Your daughter will settle down to the new routine. Reassure her that all is well and we all had to pass through this phase. Give her a picture of the family members to keep in her bag. When she misses her family, the teacher can take it out and she can look at it.

Preschool teachers are knowledgeable about the needs of young children. These teachers act as mommy for the day and the children get to trust them as another caregiver. Preschool teachers nurture and teach young children and treat them as their own.

Got questions on personal or family problems? Email them to Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at yvonniebd@ hotmail.com or call her at 978-8602.