There ought to be as much fuss over Father's Day as is made over Mother's Day when mothers are honoured. Fathers are equally important in making of families. fathers are playing a critical role in the development of children. As easy as it is to write about mothers, it is equally easy to write about good fathers who may be ignored under the generally bashing of 'dead-beat dads'. The work that fathers do often does not get measured in the same way as mothering. Several fathers play their part as fathers and mothers adequately caring for their sons and daughters after the mothers have died, migrated or abandoned the home for another man.

Father-like figures have great influence in raising children. I recall the strength and fortitude of my grandfather, migrating to the United States via Panama and making life in Harlem, New York. His resilience to fight the wintery weather to get to work on time on the crowded subway and his appreciation of the rich arts in New York was impressionable. I looked forward to visiting granddad in New Work as his tight schedule for my visit was enriching and memorable. We have memories of father-like figures in our lives, from step father to uncle, granduncles and even the community 'fathers', also known as the 'village lawyer' to whom many looked for guidance.

The Commandments

Fathers like mothers are blessings. The Bible is very instructive in the Ten Commandments to "honour your father and mother that your days may be long in the land ..." This is the only commandment which offers a blessing. Family life studies have shown that when families are closely knitted by mutual love, honour and respect, things work out well for them. J. Arnold, writing in In Praise of Fatherhood, posits that God created man (father) and then woman (mother) for the purpose of creating a family with a family who bears the main responsibility for the well-being of the family.

He adds that the greatest gift a child can have is a father who loves and respects his mother and does not tolerate disrespect on the part of his children. As the values in our society deteriorate, children need to see the loving example of family life where mother and father respect each other and play their role in the development of their children.

Influence

The great Cuban poet, Jose Marti, believes that the goal of education is not only to make our sons smart and successful in the eyes of the world, but rather to teach them to become good husbands and fathers. When young men are real fathers they will influence and change the lives of many persons. A real father is not only a father to his own children, but to all those around him, especially from single-parent homes where for the most part, fathers are absent from the day-to-day lives of their children.

Fathering techniques

It is estimated that more than half of the world's children spend at least part of their childhood without a father in the home. Fatherhood should be duty entrusted to every male, whether or not he has children of his own as children hunger for masculine role models whom they can trust and admire. As you engage in fatherhood, either biologically or by mentorship, there are some positive things that fathers can do for their children such as:

Mentoring boys

1. Attending games at school.

2. Picking up the children after school and just spending time together.

3. Taking an active part in parent-teacher associations providing masculine roles that the children can trust and admire.

4. Demonstrating humility as they love their children.

5. Making mistakes, apologising for them and learning from them.

6. Guaranteeing to make life a little more joyful for everyone with whom he comes into contact.

7. Setting firm boundaries for children and demanding that children respect mother and father.

8. Demonstrating some 'mother' instincts of being tender, selfless and always willing to help as the needs or problems arise. Families would be less stressed if fathers devoted more time and love to family issues as they did to sports and other personal interests.

Now is the time for each of us to encourage 'real' fatherhood in a world filled with wars, threats of terror and fear. As families live in fear in Jamaican society, the greatest gift a father can give to his family is the assurance that he is always there for them, unafraid and ready to exert all he has for their sakes, physically, mentally and spiritually, at any time of the day or night (Arnold).

Rediscover and celebrate

Many more fathers want to love and care for their children more, but often do not have the support and environment to do so. Let us rediscover and celebrate real fatherhood this Father's Day and beyond, congratulating those who are doing a commendable job and encouraging those who show potential.