I am not going to win any friends among the womenfolk with this one.

So, with that decree out of the way, I ask, why oh why do some women get orgasmic over shoes? A jus' shoes! You can't eat, drink, get oxygen from or sustain yourself in a desert with them but if you give them a chance, they would choose a pair of stilettos over daily bread! You've got to be kidding me!

Now I have tried to figure it out. I guessed it might be like how some guys treat their cars. But, once you've bought a car, unless you're a billionaire, you won't be buying another for a while. So the attachment to the car is somewhat understandable. You can buy a new pair of shoes (dependent on the brand and your pocket size) almost every month. So why drool over the latest pair like it's a newborn?

Go gaga over shoes

What troubles me is that over time, I thought I had figured out the type of women who go gaga over shoes. I figured they were well-off women who had (in comparison to the majority of society) no cares in the world. I even figured a few of them might be airhead-esque, and so even though there are threats of nuclear war and the world's economies seem to be crumbling, their biggest preoccupation would be what to put on their feet.

But alas, I have found that the same women who can wax poetry and orate on those same world issues are the ones who look at 'really nice' shoes and behave like they're looking at baby rabbits (visualise them saying, "aaaawwww"). I think I agree with the concept of whether a pair looks good, but I wouldn't go into detail about its aesthetics. I don't do that with sneakers much less women's shoes. If it looks 'tough' and fits me, I'll take the shoes. That's it. Women make shoe selection look like astrophysics.

These Jimmy Choos are to die for! yeah right! - File

Don't even get me started on the price for some of these shoes. You can pay down on a house with that kind of money. But I think that what bothers me the most is that some of these women have Usain Bolt-type feet and toes. What good are 'pretty' shoes if yu foot dem nuh tan good? But that doesn't stop them from drooling over them and wishing they had the dough to buy them.

Like I said from the beginning, I am not making any friends but it needs to be said man! God help me if I ever find a wife and she's into shoes! Dawg nyam my loafers!

Ok, just give me the 'boot and get it over with at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com