POSITIVE Parenting

A question that plagues women expecting their first baby is whether they're up to the job of being a mother. You're months along in your pregnancy, so it's a done deal that you will enter into parenthood. There is no going back, no changing your mind. Even if you don't believe that you'll be capable of the next step in life, you have no choice. The truth is, ladies, all of us are able. Nature has been granting females with offspring for as far back as anyone has researched. If they did it, then so can we.

Then, pray tell, why am I ladened with so much information about how I'm supposed to breastfeed, bathe and clothe my baby? Why are there so many different theories about where my baby should sleep, for how long, and in what position? I have read books, watched DVDs and listened to countless friends tell me what is best. I am so overloaded with 'facts' that I don't remember any of it.

What should i do?

Am I supposed to put my baby to sleep on his back, front or side? Is it best to swaddle him, cover him in loose blankets, or let him go au naturel? If I do swaddle him, should I leave his arms out or tuck them in? Can I put a newborn in his baby bath with regular warm tap water, or must I boil that water first? Which brands of cleanser and nappy cream ought I to use? Do I rub him down in oil after his bath? If so, which kind? How often must I feed him? Should it be 'on demand' or do I dictate the routine? If he doesn't sleep all night, is it cruel of me to prevent him from sleeping the entire day so that he doesn't start a cycle?

Do I put him to sleep in his crib from day one, or is a small cradle beside our bed better? Perhaps he should be in our bed instead, between my husband and me? How often can I have visitors over to see him? Is it hygienic for everyone to hold him when he's so tiny? When can I take him out and about with me?

Advice

HELP!!!! Actually, please don't. I am NOT writing this article to plea for suggestions. It's more for those who can relate to what I'm saying. The thing is, we ask for it. Well, I did at least. I was the one who decided to gather the literary data. I had no idea that I didn't need to waste my time or my money. What is it about mothers (and I don't mean my own, who is the sweetest and most unobtrusive woman on Earth) and their explosive recommendations? Will I be this way? Will my friends, who have babies after me, be rolling their eyes in the future because I've imparted some hard-and-fast advice that conflicts with what the last person has told them?

That sweet Mother of mine, whom I mentioned above, did a great job raising four children, and my grandmother produced two fine women before that. You think they were inundated with every theory under the sky about child rearing? What of the women in the world who have little or no access to literature, or any other form of media? Do you believe that they are deciding between breast milk and formula, or tearing themselves apart trying to figure out what's the best burping position for a baby? I doubt it, and I'm not convinced that they're troubled with the question, "Will I be a good mummy?" To be honest, nor am I.

emmadaltonbrown@gmail.com