Jennifer Keane-Dawes, Gleaner Writer

Once upon a time, big bwoy used to walk an tief people wet clothes offa line. One day, sista Pooncie wash two pillah case an a brown banlon, an pin dem pon de line while she a clean fe Chrustmus. When she go back roun a back, de line empty!

De dawg him outta street a mek war. Suh trap set fe de tief.

Well, de trap day in question, one piece a washing puddung. Mary bring ova fe har bed spread weh did come eena barrel fram Henglan. An Icy bring har flowaz curtain. All ooman go eenside an shet de door. Wid yeye ball a peep through door an windah creases.

Den now, bout six man wid six machete spread out a de four kanah a de yard. Dis in case dis tief decide fe try get weh. Well, dem wait an wait an wait, notta soun. Till de gate creak huppen, an in walks Big Bwoy.

Big Bwoy weh shoob foot under Pooncie dining table an eat har fry egg an bread. Drink har milo. A pinchy coby pon him two toe pint inna Pooncie backyard wid crocus bag fe come tief off har clothes offa de line. Suh, as him raise him han to de fuss clothes pin, Pooncie bawl out "Teeeef!!"

An' as faas as lightning, one heap sword fight machete come dung outta nowehere. Pitch him dung pon him back like dead cockroach.

Dem nayly kill him wid beaten! Pooncie a fling water pon him fe mek certain him still libbing.

Well, Christmus Eve come, an widout money but determine nuffi go back go tief people wet clothes offa line an selly, Big Bwoy go tun bell ringer outta store doorway fe Salvation Army. Hoping seh if him ring de bell, an put on a little one-man show, people woulda drap money inna de bucket. But dem woulda also drap some inna fe him butter pan. Suh hear him:

"Ear ye, ear ye. Jesus a go come back.Woe to de man weh miss de signs a de laas days! Woe to de man weh refuse fi gi to de work a de Almighty kingdom. Brimstone an fire in de laas days!"

Said time, de bungle a people weh draw near fe hear, begin drap money inna de bucket an inna de butter pan. Hoping seh Massa God a notice. Fe spare dem fram de brimstone.

Suh Big Bwoy gone on: "Yea, in de last days, Him a go call Peter de rock. But de church a go rupcha like smady appendix."

All on a sudden Big Bwoy demeanour start change. Suh smady weh realise what a galang, raise a sankey: "Abide with me. Faas faaaall da heveling tiiiide!!"

An suh dem a drag de sankey, a suh dem a wipe yeye water. An suh de Spirit a tek ova, a suh Big Bwoy overcome wid boldness:

"An Matthew seh, this gospel of the Kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come. And Daniel chapter 12 verse 2 seh many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, some to shame and everlasting contempt." Alleluia, Alleluia!

An as Big Bwoy surrender to Jesus Christ pon da piazza dat Christmus eve mawning, him experience de true meaning a Christmas. That God sen Him Son fe save de laas.

Suh, empty pocket, him carry de butter pan a money an de red bucket an han it ova to de head office.

But God had a plan. Dem hire him fe wash an sort out clothes fe homeless people. Missis, when yu know de Christ, all things work fe good eeh? Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

Dr Jennifer Keane-Dawes has been appointed interim dean of the School of Graduate Studies at the University of Maryland Eastern Shore, a constituent institution of the University of Maryland System. Send your email to jkd876@yahoo.com.