Oxy Moron, Contributor

After waiting for 12 months to see her again, I was very disappointed. First, she had lost a lot of weight; she came alone, and empty-handed. She said Santa Claus was made redundant, hunger caused his reindeer to lose their antlers, and the Christmas breeze went on strike.

The worldwide recession is to be blamed. So she apologised to those who were waiting for their annual barrels from foreign and didn't get any, though the prime minister had given duty concessions.

However, she also blamed some Jamaicans for the rut they found themselves in, for building castles in the air and putting their money into Ponzi schemes, run by men of Machiavellian and Utopian mentalities.

Gargantuan dreams

She does not suffer fools gladly, so she wants those with their gargantuan dreams that landed on the horns of a dilemma to hop off her fender, or what is left of it. Talking about Christmas was bad.

But with Obama as United States president, next year things will definitely look better for her and the world.

Winds of CHANGE will be blowing. As a matter of (fat), she is even contemplating passing on the baton to Miss Kwanza. Yes, and just imagine the chicken barbecues on the White House lawns; soul food, soul food!

From Thanksgiving Day, chicken will replace the turkey, which shall have been gone with Bush. Birds of a feather fly together.

Getting old

Miss Christmas also admitted she was getting very old and, as such, was losing her relevance, and since people have long detached the reverence from her name, she might as well call it a day.

She had been travelling all over the globe for centuries bringing one and all good cheers, so she had played her part in the advancement of the human race, and can now retire.

Yet, she is aware of the fact that some people believe she is a fraud, a fictitious persona, fabricated by men with overactive imaginations. Even after all these years. But she couldn't care less. On the day of reckoning everybody will know.

As for the carols, she wondered why she heard only a few on the radio, so she, too, was disappointed. She didn't feel welcome.

She came and left without the usual fanfare, taking note of the few persons who came to see her, and the fall in the number of bright lights put up to herald her coming. Some people claimed they did even see her and have been asking, "Whatever ever happened to Miss Christmas?"

oxydmoron@gleanerjm.com