This seems crazy behaviour to me, doc - especially as he is perfectly adequate for my sexual needs. But he keeps on and on asking me about the boyfriends who I had long ago, when I was young. He wants to know if they were bigger than he is, and when I tell him that I can't remember (which is true), he gets cross with me and says that I must be lying.

I think that all this started around two years ago when he managed to find some 'blue' Internet sites. Then he watched some porno films or DVDs. And finally, he got hold of some rude magazines, full of photos of naked couples.

From then, he has been saying that he is "inadequate" and "not big enough". He looks at the guys in the blue movies and magazines, and starts talking sadly about how they are larger than he is. Why, doc? Is he sick or something?

A. Well, it is possible that he is a little depressed. That often makes people see matters in an 'out of focused' way.

What is difficult for you to understand is that he has typical masculine thoughts about sex. A lot of the male population are - like him - convinced that their organs are 'too small'.

They see other guys stripped off in changing rooms, and immediately think 'Oh man - I'm smaller than everybody else. Why couldn't I have another couple of inches?'

What they do not realise is that they are getting a 'foreshortened' view of themselves. When a man looks down towards his naked belly, the angle at which he is observing himself is almost bound to make his penis look shorter than other people's.

Men have always had these foolish feelings about size. But in recent years, the situation has been made worse, thanks to the much wider availability of pornographic material.

You see, in blue movies and porno photos, the male 'heroes' are usually photographed in such a way as to make their organs seem real big. Also, I believe that those actors are often chosen simply because they are much larger than average.

This leaves a lot of male 'consumers' feeling very inadequate! Indeed, I receive many emails from guys who have looked at these films and magazines and become absolutely convinced that they are too small.

Now, what can be done about your husband? First, I feel he should see his doctor, who can assess whether he actually is depressed - and, if so, give him treatment.

Second, the doc can have a look at his genitals and - I hope - reassure him that they are of normal dimensions.

Third, I strongly recommend that YOU make every effort to praise his male organ. Silly as it may seem to you, it will do his self-esteem much good if you repeatedly assure him about how big you think it is, and how satisfactory you find it.

Also, I think that you should not hesitate to 'embroider the truth' a little, and tell him that he is larger than your previous boyfriends. That subject is clearly of great importance to him, and he obviously cannot understand the fact that - like most women - you were really not all that interested in how big these guys were. I hope this plan will help. If not, please email me again.

A. You obviously mean vasectomy - or male sterilisation.

Yes, it is pretty safe. Most guys are rather bruised and swollen 'down there' for a week or so after taking the operation. And occasionally, there are more significant unwanted effects - such as a 'sperm granuloma', which is a little swelling in the scrotum.

But for the vast majority of guys, vasectomy works out real well, and they are pleased that they had it done.

A. Possible causes of bleeding after sex include small cuts in the vagina and also cervical erosions (which are raw places on the cervix) and cervical polyps (which are little benign growths).

But I must be frank and say that cancer of the cervix - which is common - can also cause this symptom. All women should be aware of that fact - because this knowledge could be life-saving!

Therefore, I beg you to see a doc this week and have an internal examination and a Pap smear test. Good luck.

A. Well, I am just a little concerned about this, because the risks of the Pill do increase with age. Personally, I would be happier if you switched to some other method - like the mini-Pill or the contraceptive cap, or the coil. Why not talk it over with your own doc soon?

A. That does not sound at all like HIV - which is the virus that causes AIDS.

On the other hand, it does sound very like syphilis, which is a form of venereal disease. It used to be known in Jamaica as 'bad blood'.

There are a couple of other things it could be, including some fairly rare tropical infections. But clearly, you must go to a doc or clinic right away and have this lump diagnosed.

Meantime, at all costs you must NOT have sex with anybody. Don't fret: if it does turn out to be syphilis, that can be cured these days.

A. Yes, this is true. In particular, the chances of having a 'Down syndrome' baby are much higher when you are over 40.

However, most over-40 mothers do deliver successfully, and have healthy children. More details about the risks of late motherhood are available from any midwife or doc.

A. It is real unlikely. However, there is a very slight chance that sperms could cross the small area of skin between the anus and the vagina - and fertilise you. Also, I suggest you get yourself tested for sexually transmitted infections.

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