Oxy Moron, Contributor

I saw it coming, the boot that is, but not that barefaced act of undiluted ungratefulness. I have been ridiculed, called unsavoury names, and even had my intelligence questioned many times over, but nobody ever hurled a boot at me, not one, but two.

Yet, I ducked, not a sitting duck as I am, but a standing duck.

And guess whom it came from? An Iraqi! After ridding the Iraqi people of that tyrant, so they could live in peace and harmony, that is the thanks I got. Saddam's demise was the greatest singular achievement of my presidency, apart from my dragging of the American economy down the road of recession.

A weapon of mass destruction

Saddam was a weapon of mass destruction and I had to get rid of him. As leader of the free world and president of the world's greatest democracy, I could not just sit, twiddling my thumbs and let him kill and torture his poor defenceless citizens. I had to intervene, invited or not.

And what is the hallmark of a great presidency? A war. I brought it to the streets of Iraq. It was a pleasure to turn the country upside down, literally reducing it to rubble to find one man. And, just when I was about to say my goodbyes to the ungracious Iraqi people, one of them had the temerity to insult me, as if I were not tired of being insulted.

When Saddam was reigning, they didn't even have shoes, and now they can afford them, instead of keeping them on, they are now used as missiles, WBDs (Weapons of Bush Destruction). I heard a Jamaican politician recently saying they don't play with bush, they burn bush. Now, that Iraqi man wanted to boot me, George Bush. I wish I could have resurrected Saddam from his grave and unleash him upon them once more.

History will vindicate me but, for now, it seems I am the most unpopular United States president, ever. Not one of them had two boots thrown at them. Not one!

oxydmoron@gmail.com