Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, Contributor

We scream, we rant, we condemn, we demand and enact legislation to punish perpetrators (sex offenders) for sexual abuse of children to little avail. The media and magazine articles have joined in the campaign to illuminate the problem after the damage is done.

Among the findings of a study titled, 'The Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children in the US, Canada and Mexico', 325,000 children are sexually exploited in the United States annually. Of that figure, 121,911 ran away from home and 51,602 were thrown out of their homes by a parent or guardian.

Something can be done. Prevention strategies teach parents what abuse is, what to do about it, and how children can protect themselves. This practical hands-on approach, based on clinical and parenting experience, provides parents with:

Five key techniques to abuse-proof your child

Step-by-step instructions on what to do if you suspect or your child states or alludes to sexual abuse (11 steps)

Compelling reasons to avoid spanking your child,

How to choose a child-care worker to come into your home

How to choose a day-care facility

How to 'abuse-proof' your child from perpetrators, who are coaches, teachers, clergy, child care workers or anyone who has contact with a child, including a parent or other family members

Survival skills for independence.

While not every 10-year-old girl who is raped gets pregnant, studies reveal as high as 62 per cent of girls and 31 per cent of boys are sexually abused by age 18. Furthermore, studies reveal family members abuse 80 per cent of children.

The father is the most frequent abuser, followed by, in descending order, an uncle, grandfather, mother, sibling, cousin, or aunt. The frequency of abuse by coaches and others who have contact with children comprise approximately 19 per cent.

Abuse by strangers, while reprehensible, because it usually involves abduction, is the lowest of all. Government studies reveal only four per cent of all abductions are by strangers. Of that four per cent, only one per cent are sexually abused. Sadly, the majority of us want to believe strangers and others who have contact with our children are the problem.

A recently published book, Protecting The Gift, by Gavin De Becker, is an excellent work on teaching children to protect themselves from acquaintance and stranger buse.

Falls short

However, the author falls short of teaching children the critical skills to protect themselves from the most frequent sexual abuse perpetrators - family members. If I'd Only Known ... Sexual Abuse In or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, addresses this critical issue.

Although a Sports Illustrated article, 'Dateline', the 20/20 TV programmes and the book, Protecting The Gift, are valuable works, they leave the impression that the majority of children are being abused by perpetrators outside the family.

This is not only incorrect; it is tragic, because while we are all focusing on those outside the family, the majority of perpetrators, who are abusing children within the family, silently continue to abuse them. We, as individuals and as a society, must deal with the cost of lost or damaged lives.

The seven parent-approved and kid-tested prevention strategies proposed in If I'd Only Known ... never become outdated in their usage or effectiveness. Sexual abuse and incest of children has been a world crisis since the beginning of time and there are no indications in any society it will become non-existent.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, recognised pioneer in sexual child abuse prevention and recovery, author, 'If I'd Only Known ... Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention,' is noted for her pioneering work in verbal, physical and sexual abuse prevention and recovery. email: DorothyNed@gmail.com.