Kemisha Walters, Gleaner Writer

POSITIVE Parenting

Walk into a corporate office and say 'good morning' to folks in the waiting area and you'll probably be met with blank stares or the sotto voce response, "A weh you come from?"

Are Jamaicans a set of ill-mannered people who have abandoned common courtesy? Have 'please', 'thank you' and 'excuse me' been made redundant? And is the brutish temper that many times results in violence a manifestation of this loss?

As part of The Gleaner's Positive Parenting thrust, a news team went on a mission to find out people's response to courtesy in modern-day Jamaica.

More than 30 people were observed over two months. The results were mixed, responses varying from appreciation at the unexpected interest to reluctance.

Sitting beside a man on a bus who was browsing through his phone, I said, "Good evening." Puzzled, he looked at me as if I was an alien. I repeated the greeting. He answered but continued looking at his phone.

I asked him how his day was and, looking even more perplexed, he gave an abrupt response, then returned the favour.

A conversation started shortly after and he began to open up, asking questions and telling me about his day and life story. He said he didn't like to talk to people on the bus. "Mi fraid dem shame mi," he explained.

This comment was echoed by other commuters as well as a few taxi drivers. However, one cabbie said he tries to strike up a conversation with his passengers, but abandons the plan if they are noticeably uninterested.

Our courtesy test indicated also that persons are more likely to look out for others who are polite to them. They might be a little grim at first, but a friendly smile and a few encouraging words warm them up.

I greeted a serious-looking man whose brusque response suggested that he didn't want to be disturbed. However, as I persevered, he became relaxed, the tension in his voice thawing. "Everything cool, man," he said when quizzed about his day.

On a bright evening bus ride from Papine to downtown Kingston, an elderly woman sat down beside me. I broke the ice by complimenting her on her beautifully braided silver hair. "Your hair looks nice," I said. "What?" she asked, shocked. "Your hair looks nice," I repeated. "Oh thanks," she said, surprise caving in to reveal a broad smile that remained for the journey. It worked.

Most people were receptive to courtesy. However, there were some who pretended not to hear a greeting or expression of thanks. I would repeat what was said and some would respond apologetically.

Most Jamaicans might seem a bit intimidating but courtesy loosened them up and evoked happiness in general. Try it! You'll be surprised to know how many lasting friendships can be forged by the 'unexpected greeting'.

Do you believe Jamaicans are too discourteous? Share your views by emailing letters@gleanerjm.com or post to Phyllis Thomas, The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.