The Soloist, Contributor
Listen up fellas: If you are in a high-profile position in society; married with children and ride regularly on a moral high horse; don't give your wife bun! If, however, you find it absolutely necessary to give bun, make it recreational - not reproductive sex! You would think with all your degrees, perks, gofers, chauffeurs and underlings, you would at least spend a little of the multiple zeroes on your pay cheques to buy some common sense and condoms.
Latest victim
Take the latest victim: former US democratic presidential contender John Edwards. What a sorry-assed loser! I hope all you wives - sick or healthy, are taking notes. Men will give you bun whether you are the queen of the contest or the queen on the throne! Get my drift? I think the entire world needs to be shocked out of its self-induced comas of disbelief over what Edwards did. Most men can and will cheat eventually. Most men think about cheating at least 10 times a day. The more religious and morally upright (I mean uptight) he is, the greater the chances of cheating.
These are the guys who put God on overtime with the number of requests sent to Him for pardon. They are big in everything at the office, in the community and on the corporate boards. The more unlikely he seems to be to cheat, the more likely he is to cheat. So, with this in mind, leave it to CNN and FOX to continue their round-the-clock 'masturbation' over this latest scandal and tell everyone The Soloist is not surprised. In fact, I am now taking bets as to which high-profile Jamaican/American's nocturnal dalliances will come to light next.
Carried away
And as for you single sisters who target high-profile men, I know how it is, you get carried away by quick trips to Florida and The Cayman Islands for lunch, followed by dessert served in your sexiest negligée. By the exotic flowers, by the little blue boxes of precious stones, the bigger apparel boxes from labels you only saw in IN STYLE and the spanking new Audi in your driveway for 'services rendered'. Even my head is spinning. But, for heaven's sake, why oono chat summuch? Why can't you all keep the affairs quiet so he can keep you till a pensionable age!
Why do you have to call up the wives at home in their blissful ignorance? Why must you insist on enrolling your bastard pickney in the same upscale school? Why can't you all just laugh all the way to the bank by yourselves?
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