Latoya Campbell, Gleaner Writer

Contributed

"I knew that it was wrong to 'borrow' the car for the night, but there was no way that I would miss going to the 'party of the century', simply because my parents would be out of town for the weekend. To make a long story short, not only did I get caught because they returned before they had planned to, but I also had most of my privileges taken from me. Apart from that, I lost one of the most important things in life: my parents trust," says Kevin, 19.

They often say that it takes years to build up trust but only a second to tear it down. Indeed, the saying is true. As much as everyone would like to forgive and forget and get back to their normal routine instantly, it takes a lot of effort to get to that point. No matter how close a relationship is, some persons find it very difficult to move on after having their trust abused.

"Often, forgiving is the easy part. However, they always seem to remember your wrongdoing and it makes moving on rather difficult," says Sara-Ann, 17.

Once you've accepted the fact that you were wrong, it's your duty to apologise and prove to your parents that, in spite of your past actions, they can once again trust you. Many persons, however, do not know how to do so and end up making the situation worse than it really is.

Outlook Youth got the views of four young persons and compiled a few tips which should be very useful to persons in such a situation:

After the shock

Elroy, 19: "Don't try to defend yourself. It's unexpected and is sure to make them think you've learned, or at least are learning, your lesson. Ensure that you apologise. After that, it's all a matter of showing that you really deserve it back. Don't make it too obvious by doing things you wouldn't normally do. When the time comes to be trustworthy, be trustworthy."

Start off small

Shereen, 16: "When I found myself on the wrong side with my parents, I decided to do various odd jobs around the house. I showed an interest in family activities that I usually hated being a part of. It made no sense to hesitate to wash up the pile-up of dirty plates, or to babysit my little brother even though I'd rather be out with my friends."

Be open and honest with your parents

James, 14: "The worst thing you could do is hide information from them. Let them know exactly where you are going and who you are going with. Hopefully, they will realise that you are making an effort to include them in your life and regain that trust that you once had ... eventually."

Don't push it

Alex, 18: "One thing that you must bear in mind is that you can't force trust; trying too hard will only result in letting it disappear forever. At first, you need to give them space; give them some time to 'cool off'."