1. People are talking about the audit that never was. The practice is that the auditors appear at an annual general meeting (AGM) to report to the membership on whether financial statements are reliable and were done in keeping with the required standards. In the case in point, an impressive array of figures was reeled off, with the warning that these were "unaudited figures". The auditors were not present. Then, to add insult to injury, the obsequious one rose to applaud a wonderful performance, pro-claiming a presentation that would put many listed companies to shame.

If listed companies present unaudited financial statements at their AGM and do not ensure that their auditors are present, such companies ought to be reported to the Jamaica Stock Exchange and the Financial Services Commission.

Easy as peanuts

2. There are persistent reports that drug peddlers are scattered all over the city. From all accounts, accessing their wares is as easy as buying peanuts. Even though it is happening right under their noses, the police are always the last to know.

Off the market

3. They say the former lover is very relieved that the jock has found someone to marry. She confessed that although she liked his gifts and support, she was not able to keep up with his demands: By day he is a top executive, but by night, he attacks like a tiger. She is wishing the newly-wed all the best of luck.

Here I come

4. As the recession takes hold in America, many 'yardies' who had wiped the dust off their feet are once again looking to the rock for salvation. These include professionals who thought that the green pastures would remain that way forever. Many are looking over their shoulder in order to protect their jobs.

Market hits bottom