The dark side of men's health is clearly demonstrated in violence at home. This is commonplace, affecting members of the household and society. It is also called family violence, marital violence, battered women and spousal abuse, indicating that women are the usual victims, and men are the usual perpetrators, although they may also suffer abuse from intimate partners, whether male or female. This article will focus on both situations.
The term violence can be misleading since it refers not only to physical force but also to sexual and emotional abuse. Violence includes coercive behaviours used by a competent adult or adolescent to establish and maintain power over another adult or adolescent. These behaviours may be sporadic or continual. Each incident builds upon previous episodes, resulting in greater harm to the victims.
Battered men
There is no doubt that men are also victims of emotional torment and even physical abuse from their partners. Health providers in emergency centres report, not infrequently, adult men who are stabbed by their girlfriends or adolescent males stabbed by their sisters. Men in same sex relationships are subject to violence from their partners as are those in heterosexual relationships. However, these acts of violence are not usually reported unless they result in murder.
Why do men abuse their partners?
Violent behaviour towards an intimate partner is a deliberate strategy to control. Men may use alcohol as an excuse for this behaviour but the real issue is dominance over the partner. Men, who blame their partners, or other outside factors, for their violent behaviour, are failing to take responsibility for this behaviour.
The pervasive nature of the domestic abuse phenomenon, in all communities in Jamaica, indicates that its roots are historical, individual, societal and cultural. In our communities, slavery has left a legacy of violence, abuse and hatred. The lack of access to educational and employment opportunities means that men have limited resources for overcoming their emotional and financial insecurities, resulting in outbursts of violence on weaker members of their households. There is also a culture of rage in our society, which is demonstrated by the frequent verbal abuse encountered on our streets. This is reinforced by the abusive homes in which our children are reared, resulting in the continual cycle of home violence.
Breaking the cycle of violence
Preventing violence in the home requires a deliberate, conscious effort for perpetrators and victims to take responsibility for their words and actions. Many violent men do not recognise that they have a problem and so, they must be confronted by family, influential friends and, quite often, by the police. Violent behaviours must be identified early. They include insults, sulking or refusing to talk (keeping malice), stomping out of the house during a discussion, doing or saying something to spite the partner or threatening to hurt the partner in any way. If the problem is not acknowledged, the perpetrator will eventually escalate his behaviour to slapping, kicking, hitting with fists or threatening with a knife or gun.
Addressing domestic abuse
Couples, who are experiencing domestic abuse, should seek help from counselling services or health care providers. The couple will be informed of their community resources and legal alternatives. The abuser needs cognitive and behavioural therapy. Legal action must be taken if the abusive behaviour persists. Victims must make plans to leave or insist that the abuser leaves. There is no quick-fix for domestic violence. It requires a coordinated response from the family, health services and justice systems.
Dr Pauline Williams-Green is a family physician and president of the Caribbean College of Family Physicians; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.
