Amitabh Sharma, Features Coordinator

How many times have you found yourself at a loss for words in an interview? Or you were tongue-tied during that important meeting? A conversation, that critical interlock in the chain of communication, which will either strengthen or lead to a breakdown of the chain.

"A conversation is a source of how we link with people," says Grace Cameron, communication specialist and publisher and editor-in-chief of JamaicanEats magazine, "so doing it effectively is important."

Cameron, who periodically conducts workshops on communication, says an effective conversation is important as it facilitates the building of effective relationships.

LAYERS

"When we're in conversation with other people we are speaking over several layers," she says.

Culture, moods, circumstances are some of the layers that you encounter. It is imperative, Cameron says, that you are careful in what you say, given the circumstances.

For example, it is considered rude in certain cultures to extend the left hand for a greeting.

"The use of slangs and speaking casually is a no-no," Cameron says. "You may use certain words that mean one thing and the person interprets it as something else."

The outcome of a conversation also depends upon your state of mind and the circumstances that you are in, Cameron says.

You should not vent your frustrations on the other person if you have arrived at a meeting after being stuck in a traffic jam. "If you are coming to work hot, sweating, tired and frustrated," she says, " and if someone walks to you with an issue to be resolved, it might rub you the wrong way."

BODY LANGUAGE

Cameron says there are a number of factors that come into play when you are conversing - primary among them is the body language.

"In some ways communication and conversations begin long before you open your mouth," she says.

You need to be a good listener in order to make the communication effective, "you should nod your head, lean towards the person, which will make the other person feel that you are paying attention," Cameron says.

On the other hand, if you are talking with hands folded on your chest, it might seem to be that you closing yourself. "It could be seen as distancing from the person you are talking to," she says.

APPROPRIATE WORDS

The choice of your words are also critical, Cameron says, as for an effective conversation you should keep it effective by keeping it relevant and appropriate.

Cameron strongly advises against gossip, "It is not a feel-good kind of thing, don't discuss persons," she says, "It is not constructive either."

It is not appropriate to discuss other persons, when they are not there to answer and clarify the issues. "Gossip doesn't get you any further," she says.

OVERCOME SHYNESS

Cameron says that not everyone is well versed and proficient to converse with other people, which is fine. "Being shy is not a crime," she says.

Cameron says that it is important that you do not have to coach yourself or chastise yourself for not being the centre of the conversation. "Maybe you don't operate well with 10 people," she says.

She recommends that you could pick someone in that group and start a conversation with that person, which might be less intimidating.

Sometimes people who think they are shy believe they do not have anything to talk about. "If you keep yourself abreast of what's happening in your society that is something you can draw on," she suggests.

The communication specialist recommends increasing your cultural IQ. "Go to the movies or theatres," she says, "that will give you another level or source of information to strike a conversation."

Cultural IQ also includes going to the country, doing something over the weekend, or trying different cuisine, "Culture is about the food as well," she says.

ELEMENTS

Cameron says there are some key elements that make a good conver-sation. One of the key things is to be truthful and not to exaggerate. It is always advisable to arm yourself with information, reading and researching about the company where you are going for a meeting and to know what they do.

She also recommends one to jot down important pointers and read them up before a meeting. "It would help you to explain those points effectively," she says.

Finally, she says, do not be afraid of silence, "You can take a few moments to recollect, rather than to rush in and stray from the topic," Cameron says. "There is no harm in asking for a few seconds."

amitabh.sharma@gleanerjm.com

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