Nadisha Hunter, Gleaner Writer

Foster parent Monica Gilbert with her bundle of joy, adopted daughter Shaney, at home in St Andrew. - FIle

A number of stakeholders in child management have argued that too many parents have lost control in the home and are not exerting enough pressure to enforce compliance with rules.

Doret Crawford, coordinator at the parent training institution, Coalition for Better Parenting, based in Kingston, states that many parents are misguided in the modes of discipline to curb inappropriate behaviour.

Today's society

"Something is terribly wrong with the children of today's society," she argues. "The parents are not doing enough in applying the right actions, to get these children where they really should be."

Family life experts are not necessarily advocating corporal punishment, or a domineering approach to discipline, but are urging parents to be positive role models for their children.

"The (attitude that) 'you have to do what I say' won't work," says Anthony. L. Gordon, family life counsellor at Central Jamaica Conference of Seventh-day Adventists in Spanish Town, St Catherine. "Parents should model the things they want their children to do and say, as a means of exercising discipline."

He also says punishment or withholding of benefits should be done after first clearly communicating to the child the values you want him or her to adopt.

Howard Sommerbell, principal of Muirhouse Primary and Junior High School, views indiscipline in schools as symptomatic of an absence of order and control in the home.

He believes parents are not showing adequate interest and exerting enough influence on the children, citing the poor attendance of parent-teacher association (PTA) meetings as evidence of ambivalence.

Parents must do better

"Parents need to do better in getting children to be better persons in society, by placing more priority on their education. They need to come to PTA meetings and find out about their children's academic standard," Sommerbell states.

Alwyn Morgan, a father of two, says social value systems have deteriorated rapidly.

"The children nowadays are too loose," Morgan argues. He adds that if they are given anything to do they behave as if it's too difficult for them to do because they don't want to do it.

However, Pamela Riley, who has three children, says indiscipline is so entrenched in society that many parents just can't do anymore.

"I discipline my children and I put a lot of pressure on them, but the thing is that they are influenced by other things on the street, so although I am trying, the children are still out of hand," Riley states.

But Tashay, a 19-year-old student who would not disclose her last name, sees things differently. She says she is the product of parents who have placed too much pressure on her.

"Children need to be free sometimes, so parents need to be gentler and more patient with their children," states Tashay.

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