( L - R ) Linton, Davidson

In this segment of POSITIVE Parenting, we allow the experts to offer their views and solutions. Today, and over the next couple of weeks, we take material from work by educator Dr Faith Linton and psychologist Dr Barry Davidson that is soon to be published under the auspices of Family Life Ministries. It deals with parenting in the Caribbean.

It was Jennifer's first baby. She felt excited and a little bit scared. She wished her mother was alive to give her advice, to help her prepare for the baby, and to stay with her for the first few weeks after the baby's birth.

Fortunately, David, her husband, planned to take leave from work at that time. He was so capable and calm, it would be good to have him around.

But how much did he know about babies? Perhaps her good friend Marge, who had two little ones and who lived just around the corner, would come in now and then to help her.

All went well

Jennifer's baby was due in three months' time. At last, the day came. All went well and mother and baby Jason were back home after just three days in hospital. Marge didn't come to visit her friend until the new baby was five weeks old.

Marge's two children had come down with chicken pox one after the other, so she thought it was better to keep away from Jennifer and the newborn baby until the infectious period was over.

However, David was a big help. Jennifer couldn't have desired better. One night when Jason was about 10 days old, he just kept crying and crying. They could not get him to stop crying.

When David saw how tired and concerned Jennifer was, he gave her a hot milk drink and made her get into bed. Then he took over the baby and walked up and down with him until he finally fell asleep.

Delighted

By the time Marge came by, life with Jason was becoming more settled. Marge was delighted to see Jason thriving so nicely. But it was the young mother who surprised and delighted her even more. Jennifer seemed so relaxed and competent, not like a first-time mother at all.

When Marge remarked on this, here is what Jennifer said: "You know, if I had to go through all this on my own, I think I would be a nervous wreck! Having David around during the first two weeks made such a difference.

Even the night the baby was born, I was so glad the doctor allowed him to stay with me in the labour room. And he can't stop telling everybody how they gave him the baby to hold right after he was born.

But you know something, I have to thank my mother too. Though she is dead and gone, her example, the way she looked after her babies, it's just like I'm seeing her and watching the way she used to do certain things.

I didn't know I would remember because I wasn't more than about four or five when my youngest brother was born. But when I find myself picking up the little baby so carefully or holding him a certain way in his bath, I realise I am doing these things just the way my mother used to do them."