Nadisha Hunter, Gleaner Writer

POSITIVE Parenting

Gemma Gibbon, freelance child psychologist, is advising parents that the best approach to understanding their children is to stoop to their eye level, allowing them to feel free to relate about any issue.

Children have complex emotions, she says, and understand a lot more than adults tend to credit them for.

Gibbon states that parents should listen to, not simply hear, their children, recognising that they are 'little people' with their own rights who deserve an audience.

"Most parents dictate to their children but that is not right. Parents should ask the children questions and let them know that their opinion counts," says the child psychologist.

Gibbon has further advice for parents:

	When children believe their opinions count, they feel impor-tant because they are heard. They feel free to talk to parents about anything.
	Parents should wait for a convenient time to discuss matters, such as when they are watching television, so that children feel comfortable and become willing to participate in conversations.
	Parents should allow the conver-sation to flow and shouldn't discuss matters in an angry tone.
	They shouldn't talk to children in a commanding manner because children will feel discouraged and won't be willing to voice their opinions.

Counsellors also have some advice on understanding children.

Anthony L. Gordon, family life counsellor at Central Jamaica Conference of Seventh-day Adventists, wants parents to know that they should:

	Get to know their own personality and parental back-ground. This is important so they can understand how to discipline their children. Every parent is a product of a family and he or she should copy positive values from those who have a history of effective parenthood.
	Educate themselves on the various social dynamics that are affecting children.
	Know what children are exposed to at school, in their relationships with their peers, and monitor their consumption of material in print and electronic media.
	Establish an open and continuous relationship with the children so that they don't feel inhibited in discussing issues, asking questions and getting facts.

Family life coordinator in the Department of Behavioural Sciences at the Northern Caribbean University, Merylyn Campbell-Flinch, says parents should:

	Know that each child is different.
	Find creative ways to impart such lessons such as how to behave appropriately; what rules to follow, what values to hold; and how to make decisions.

Keisha Brown, teacher at the Children's Centre, has some advice too:

	It is imperative that parents take a proactive step in their children's lives by knowing their friends, getting them involved in church activities and taking interest in their schooling.
	Parents should spend sufficient time with children to find out about their daily activities such as what they have done at school and what difficulties they faced.