Q. I will be having a daughter soon (within the next two weeks). Can you please inform me of a good book to read or class to attend, because as the time gets closer, I fear I will not be the best parent a child should have. Please give me your professional advice.

Dear Friend:

I hope you will have a safe delivery. Most persons are a little nervous about having a child, especially a daughter. Most book stores will have great books about raising children. You can consult your paediatrician for a book that would best suit your needs.

If there are personal concerns that you have about being a parent, please see a counsellor to begin coping with whatever unresolved issues you may have.

Q. My four-year-old son constantly breaks stuff. After playing with a toy for a short while, he resorts to breaking it. He does the same with other items in our house. I have tried punishing him by denying him things and activities that he likes, but to no avail. What could be the problem? What can I do?

Dear Friend:

What is going to be important in whatever method you choose to reprimand your child is that you are consistent over a long period, which is until you see changes in his behaviour.

It is entirely possible that your son does not have a disorder and he is just misbehaving because he's testing your emotional strength. If the behaviours worsen over time, it would be wise to have him evaluated by a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Q. I am the mother of a four-year-old boy who is terribly afraid of flying. He was born in America and has travelled to Canada also. I did not travel for a year and the next attempt at travelling was when he was three. He never had a problem before, but then he was much younger and probably not very aware.

However, last April when I travelled to Florida, as soon as he looked out and saw the aircraft, he started crying and cried throughout the flight. The return flight was even worse.

I tried travelling with him again in August. This time I had to get off the aircraft as he was hysterical and all attempts to get him quite proved futile. His doctor is aware of the situation and his recommendation was to tour a plane - that I was not able to do.

Please help me, I am getting nervous myself.

Dear Friend:

It would be good to educate your son about how aircraft fly and other aspects of aviation. This can assist him with his fear of flying. Some airlines run courses to help people get over the fear of flying. Check with them.

Education plays a very important role in overcoming the fear of flying. Understanding what a certain sound is or that an encounter with turbulence will not destroy the aircraft is beneficial to easing the fear of the unknown. Various types of therapy, such as cognitive-behaviour therapy and systematic desensitisation, in addition to education, can help your son.

Call a psychologist and ask for a referral for a mental health specialist who specialises in this type of treatment.

Having problems with your children? Write to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston; fax 922-6223; or email helpline@gleanerjm.com. Dr Orlean Brown-Earle, child psychologist and family therapist, has the solutions.