Angela Philipps, Contributor

Do you men out there ever feel like nothing you do is right? Are some women expecting too much from you ... almost the impossible? Is one gal hoping you'll act in a certain way, and the next expecting the opposite behaviour, and so on? You're becoming confused as to how you are supposed to please us and you have no clue what to do, so the inevitable outcome is a bunch of unhappy ladies.

A Jamaican airline pilot who works overseas recently complained to me about an incident that happened to him:

"I don't know much about the 'inner workings' of females ... how they think, act or how what really makes it happen for them. I've had some really strange encounters ... from marriage proposals to business propositions and those who'd like to move in and take care of mom. I was there (in Jamaica) in February and went out with this really nice female I met on one of my flights.

Everything went great ... conversation, meal and location. She decided she wanted to go dancing and I was petrified (not the greatest dancer). However, I tried to get my groove on, all the while watching her moves. She was very good. I was leaving on the evening of the following day for California to fly the Hawaii route ... this was explained earlier in the day. I had even offered a rain check, but on her insistence, I relented.

"It had got really late. I was pooped. I tried to explain to her and she said it was OK but I could see that she wasn't amused. She wanted to stay a bit longer. On the way home she became quite the 'touchy feely' person I didn't know she was, which made me quite uncomfortable. I can't drive with hands trying to grope every part of my body, especially on a first date. We pulled up to her driveway and I was thanking her for a wonderful evening when she bluntly asked me if I was gay.

"It felt like she'd hit me with a metal bat in the head. I politely stepped outside and proceeded to open her door so she could get out. She got out and I politely told her no. She then asked me what was wrong with me and started asking me all sorts of dumb questions. I left her that night feeling like I was stripped of my manhood ... needless to say, I never returned any of her calls."

gentlemen do exist

The reaction of this gal is similar to that of mine and my friends on several occasions. If a guy doesn't make a move we are left wondering why. We wrongly jump to the conclusion that the man must be homosexual, or asexual. Of course, as I've matured and seen that 'gentlemen' do exist, I have come to realise that these men have either been showing me respect or were just not interested in me romantically. It was unfair of me to ever presume otherwise.

And then there have been many incidents when blokes have been too pushy when it comes to sexual contact, and those of us from the category above can't stand this either. We want you to be drawn to us, we want a bit of 'action', but the moment you actually try and do something about that we push you away with utter disdain in our hearts and minds. You get frustrated, angry and cynical about us and our intentions and desires.

How are men supposed to know when to make a move and when to sit on their hands? 'Signs' are not enough. Humans cannot read minds. We might be able to get a feeling as to whether a person is attracted to us, but we cannot hope to know the physical needs of one another unless we're told. Ladies, we should be applauding our 'dates' for behaving themselves so impeccably. And if not, then we shouldn't also be mad with them for having 'octopus' hands. We just can't have it both ways.

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com

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