Anthony Meerak, Contributor

Comparison theory

What not to do: Whenever children perform below their parents' expectation, many parents begin to compare the children to more successful children as a form of motivation. The sad thing about this is that it usually garners resentment and a breakdown in their confidence.

The children may begin to feel that you would rather have someone else for a child.

Rectification: Critique and not criticise. Let them know that they need to improve in certain areas of their life. Perhaps the reason why they are failing at school is because they lack time-management skills. It's not necessarily because they are slow learners or they need extra classes.

Rights vs privileges

What not to do: Some parents usually reward their children whether they do something bad or good. If the children are failing in school, don't buy them an Xbox for summer. This may cause them to associate positive rewards with failure. They may now expect a mp3 player for keeping their rooms untidy.

Rectification: Providing food, love, clothing, shelter and an education are the rights of a child. But everything else is a privilege that should be earned. Try associating good actions with rewards and bad actions with negative consequences. For example, if a child fails to do his/her homework, then this child should lose some privileges, such as watching TV or talking on the phone.

Transitioning role

What not to do: If your child is no longer in prep or primary school, stop the petting and pampering in public. While it is good to display your love and affection, it can make your child look and seem like a baby to the general public. This can cause serious damage to a child's image when entering a high school setting.

Rectification: Adjust your parenting technique to the transition your children are experiencing. Perhaps these children are entering high school and want to be seen as being independent, so allow them to carry their bags or express themselves to a teacher without you interrupting.

The strain of society

What not to do: Stop blaming everybody but yourself for any negative habits your children have developed. Don't send your children to school expecting the teacher to be a parent to them, or allowing your children to be counselled by the lyrics of musicians.

Rectification: Parenting should be done by parents, you are the ones from whom children should learn fundamental values and morals. Stop trying to find substitutes for your role as a parent. Instead of assigning an extra-curricular activity each day of the week, try spending some afternoons with your children. Talk about whatever you want to, something simple, something complex, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you are bonding and the conversations are interactive.