Bookmark Jamaica-Gleaner.com
Go-Jamaica Gleaner Classifieds Discover Jamaica Youth Link Jamaica
Business Directory Go Shopping inns of jamaica Local Communities

Home
Lead Stories
News
Business
Sport
Commentary
Letters
Entertainment
Let's Talk Life
Saturday Features
More News
The Star
Financial Gleaner
Overseas News
The Voice
Communities
Hospitality Jamaica
Google
Web
Jamaica- gleaner.com

Archives
1998 - Now (HTML)
1834 - Now (PDF)
Services
Find a Jamaican
Careers
Library
Power 106FM
Weather
Subscriptions
News by E-mail
Newsletter
Print Subscriptions
Interactive
Chat
Dating & Love
Free Email
Guestbook
ScreenSavers
Submit a Letter
WebCam
Weekly Poll
About Us
Advertising
Gleaner Company
Contact Us
Other News
Stabroek News



Relationships: Drawing the line on secrets
published: Saturday | May 17, 2008

Anthony Meerak, Relationship Writer

Secrets are the types of skeletons we generally want to stay in the closet. With doors closed. And criss-crossed strips of lumber hammered on as an extra precaution.

The main motivation for keeping things under wraps is because letting the cat out of the bag could cause our relationships to crash.

Finances - Vince, 33

Couples should decide on how they are going to finance their lifestyle, for example, the sharing of bills and other household expenses.

Outside of that, I strongly insist on a pre-nup agreement (some legal experts say it is of no legal effect). If it is love, what does money have to do with it. I keep my money and what I do with it outside of our joint obligations - it is my business. With that out of the way, we can live happily ever after.

Health - Steve, 32

It is very important for couples to be open about various health issues - physiological and psychological. Persons need to reveal a history of psychological illnesses because these tend to be hereditary, which then would affect your children.

The medical issues are equally important. For example, the risk of a child being born with sickle-cell anaemia increases if both parents are carriers, or with HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted infections. It should be mandatory that one's status is disclosed to a partner, for obvious reasons.

Having a child from a previous relationship - Vivica, 50

This cannot be kept secret, especially if you are entering marriage. A child cannot disappear - if you have one, I need to know. I should be able to make the decision if I want to be a stepmother or not.

Imagine me being married to someone for two or 20 years and then find out he had an outside child. I would feel deceived!

Sexual history - Rory, 24

Ahh, secrets. Some secrets should remain secrets. But on a serious note, I think it's important to share all types of information, though it may have the potential to backfire.

For example, your spouse may decide to use it as ammunition in a heated conversation. One has to be careful not to pull on such information when things get rough. Sharing sexual history is important; if one is infected with any sexually transmitted infections, one's partner must know to assess risk.

If you are supremely comfortable with your mate, you can talk about experiences with your previous partner. Who knows, it might enhance your present relationship.


More Saturday Features



Print this Page

Letters to the Editor

Most Popular Stories






© Copyright 1997-2008 Gleaner Company Ltd.
Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer | Letters to the Editor | Suggestions | Add our RSS feed
Home - Jamaica Gleaner