Devon Dick

On Saturday, the National Geographic Channel related the life story of Howard Hughes (1905-1976), eccentric, reclusive and talented billionaire. He, one of the richest men of his time, was an industrialist, pioneering aviator, film producer/ director/actor. However, the narrator mentioned that Hughes had a mechanical attitude toward sex. The narrator did not explain what he meant. However, it reminded me of the feeling I had when I read the Saturday Gleaner, a family paper, a couple weeks ago. There was a doctor who was describing how to find the G-spot, that spot to make a woman's world shatter with sexual ecstasy. It sounded mechanical as if one was reading a car manual about finding a spark plug.

Mechanical obsession

This mechanical obsession with finding the G-spot is a byproduct of the sexual revolution of the 1960s to the prevailing Victorian prudish attitude toward sex. However, in the attempt at sexual information, experimentation and liberation, it has largely gone too far to a mechanical concept of sex. Therefore, sexual intercourse has been devalued to emphasise techniques and the physical aspect only, often forgetting that sex starts in the mind and for a most fulfilling experience there has to be a meeting of the body, mind and soul.

In reacting to the 'missionary position' only, there has been an obsession with physical positions for sexual satisfaction to the neglect of the partner's state of mind. No wonder women need these mechanical sex aids to experience sexual orgasm. In addition, with this mechanical attitude toward sex it is not surprising that people change partners as if they are changing cars, always seeking a newer model with new features to give them the ride of their lives.

It is necessary and preferable to find the H-spot, that is the Heart of the person. To find the H-spot one has to spend time in understanding what makes the person tick as a wholistic being. When one has found the H-spot it means both persons are compatible in outlook, values and ambition. When one has found the H-spot it means that one has that pleasant feeling when one is around that person. One feels complete. One's heart does not only skip a beat but the hearts beat in sync. There is fun in going out and being together with each other and among friends.

When one has found the H-spot then one wants to be with that person all the while. One wants to commit one's affection and love to that person. One desires an exclusive relationship with that person and also wants the world to know that one has found the H-spot of someone.

Satisfying and rewarding

It is within that context of having found the H-spot that sex is usually most satisfying and rewarding. Sex then will not be mechanical but has the potential to be dynamic, creative, spontaneous, loving and passionate. It will not see foreplay as an activity and event but rather will be viewed as a process that can begin with doing household chores together. Sex after finding the H-spot will be based on chemistry. It will be enhanced by having a common set of shared core values. It is marked by self-control and respect for the moods and feelings of the other person. It is also based on a commitment to procreate and continue the human race. It is a commitment to parenthood.

As we are on the verge of celebrating another Mothers' Day, let us recommit to love that is based on finding the H-spot before the G-spot.

Happy Mothers' Day to all mothers.