Petrina Francis, Staff Reporter

Some women are sometimes labelled as too clingy, a trait which makes relationships uncomfortable and ultimately drives guys to run away.

But why are some women so clingy?

According to Dr Lisa-Anne Knowles, chief consultant at the Queen of Hearts Consultancy, abandonment and absentee fathers are the primary factors why some women become clingy spouses.

Knowles explains that it is natural for a woman who did not have a male figure in her life to cling to her partner.

"It is not that she intends (to hang on), but there is the fear that the person will leave," Knowles tells Relationship. "So, the woman compromises and does whatever to make the man stay."

Knowles reveals that such unhealthy behaviour can be solved through counselling, "so she can divorce herself from the past issue".

The counsellor notes that if the partner is not committed to a long-term relationship, he will leave the relationship out of frustration.

Deep-seated issues

"He might unintentionally blame her for not realising that there are deep-seated issues that she takes in the relationship," says the psychologist.

Knowles says if the relationship is to work, the woman will need understanding from her partner to solve this problem.

"Work with her. Be there as a sounding board and listen to her feelings," she recommends.

The psychologist says societal constructs tend to semantically distinguish between men and women - women are labelled clingy, but men are deemed jealous. She notes, however, some men who failed to resolve issues they had while growing up could also display similar dependency tendencies.

Knowles suggests that the clingy spouse's partner should give support without condoning the action. "Affirming is important. Ensure that your (clingy) partner knows that you love them," says Knowles, who is also a sociologist.

Counsellor Leaford Henderson says clingy spouses hate being alone because of insecurities.

He states that if a clingy spouse is frustrated and fear reaches a high level, it may manifest itself in anger.

petrina.francis@gleanerjm.com