Q. I am 19 and female. And I am thinking of giving up my virginity to one of two boys who both say they love me.

I am not sure yet about which guy it will be. But before I decide, I would really like your fatherly advice about one or two things concerning the losing of virginity.

First of all, one of my friends told me that she had real terrible pain the first time. Is that always so, doc? I do not cope with pain very well, and am very frightened by it.

Second, is there a lot of bleeding? You will probably think I am a rather nervous person, but I cannot stand the sight of blood!

Third, will I discharge as soon as I give up my virginity? Someone told me that it usually happens the first time.

Fourth, could I get pregnant the first time I have sex? I am hopeful that the answer is 'no'.

Finally, after I have lost my virginity, will anyone be able to tell? For instance, would the second guy that I go with be able to detect that someone else has already been with me?

A. Let me start by saying that I feel you are being unwise in deciding to give up your virginity when you don't even know which of the two guys you want to give it to. Please remember that there is no harm in waiting for a while until you are quite sure that you want to have sex with a particular guy.

Now, it is clear that you don't know a lot about sex and virginity. That fact makes me feel even more strongly that you should not rush into your first sexual experience.

There is usually a little pain when you lose your virginity, but not very much. Some women have no pain or discomfort at all.

As a general rule, there isn't a lot of bleeding. Many girls experience a blood loss of only a few drops.

It is unlikely that you will you discharge as soon as you are penetrated. Indeed, a lot of young women report that they did not even ENJOY their first experience, let alone feel like climaxing.

On your fourth question, 'yes', you can get pregnant during your first time.

Lastly, unless the guy happened to be a trained gynaecologist, he is unlikely to be able to detect that you have had sex on just one occasion.

Please think carefully before deciding on that first experience, and have safe sex.

Q. I hope it will be a blessed time of day when this mail reaches you. I am planning on going into professional bodybuilding, but I am concerned because I have heard that weightlifting can reduce the size of the penis.

Is this true, doc?

A. No, it isn't. However, when a guy gets real big, pumped-up muscles, his male organ can APPEAR a little small in comparison.

Also, there are some drugs which are used illegally by certain bodybuilders - and those CAN indeed make the penis shrink a little. They can also make you lose your nature.

So, good luck with your bodybuilding career, but please do not mess around with any drugs.

Q. I am a guy of 17, and I have little 'breasts'. This is real embarrassing for me. I went to a doc, and he said it was just because I am overweight.

Could I obtain surgery to put everything right, doc?

A. Very large numbers of young males have collections of fat around the nipples. These are often known as 'man breasts' or 'man boobs'.

The commonest cause of this phenomenon is being overweight. So if you make a real effort to slim down, you should 'lose' these little breasts.

I really would not recommend surgery to remove the swellings. It is expensive and quite painful, and is only used in the most extreme cases.

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