Kelly

Consider this piece a half apology to the younger generation of DJs who I have sorely criticised over the years, both in public or private.

While listening to some 'old skool' music last week, I heard some of the dancehall songs of the '80s and '90s. Honestly, if we think some of the songs today make no sense, check some from that time.

Remember Junior Reid's Foreign Mind, which started off pretty well but went off on a tangent with lyrics such as, "Michael Jackson seh di girl is mine." Well, yes, he did, but what did that have to do with the core meaning of the song? Nothing! Or how about One Scotch? While I can identify with the fact that "in heaven there is no beer, and that's why wi haffi drink it 'ere", I'm not sure why there was a need for the lines where they tell you which months have only 30 days. Educational, I guess.

Tiger's When was no better. "Two man a love up love up, dem a men" is quite irrelevant because more than one man, regardless of what they're doing, you have to use the plural.

Puzzling

So, when Elephant Man gave us the unforgettable line from Log On, "put out yuh right hand and put out yuh right feet (just so he could continue the rhyme), who am I to quarrel with the man? The Fireman Capleton had one line from a tune which talked about not turning children into 'shattison'. I presume he meant killers, but how he got George Jefferson further into the verse, I'm not sure.

But no matter how much slack you try to give these guys, somebody always does a song which just defies description. U C Fargo is arguably Jamaica's dumbest song ever (no disrespect) "U C Fargo, Yes Aya". And yet, it got so far up the charts. Back in the day, songs like 50-Dollar Bill and Fresh might not have been the most lyrically eloquent, but they were social commentary. Even Wanga Gut had a good message (terrible video, though).

All these songs, goofy or not, made money, so it is in my hope to make some dough that I think I'm going to cut a 'chune'. Don't have a topic yet, though. Think I might try lovers' rock (though I can't sing) but ghetto life is out of the question because I wasn't raised in one so I have no authority to speak. The gun thing is definitely out as well.

But, rest assured, it will be a classic. I'll get Dean Fraser to arrange it, King Jammys to record it and Jay-Will to produce the music video and mi gone clear! Hear, me told you!

Sing along with me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com.