Some persons who you didn't know could mash ants, there they are at the soca fête, 'wukking' up! The guy who everybody thinks is the office nerd (and hence the one to be made fun of) is suddenly surrounded by three smoking-hot ladies getting on baaad! And when it comes to the road marches, well those who looked like running on a treadmill for about 10 minutes would require Herculean strength have all the stamina and energy to go 'dung di road' on carnival day.

Now, the very nature of carnival (the whole history is quite intriguing) and the feeling of being carefree and doing everything in excess (at least for the carnival period) are not a problem for me. Bearing in mind, the only thing I do in excess for fun is watch football. Boring, I know, but hey, that's me. Anyway, carnival is not my thing to do in public. I love soca and calypso music and always have fun watching the revellers on television (especially those who might be a little too hefty for the costume).

The right way

Scenes from carnival - file

But not every single soul who goes to play mas knows the right way to do so. So if you going to 'wuk' up, spruce up before you go. I beg of thee, please don't go there without taking some dabs from the deodorant. You're going to get sweaty anyway, so the last thing you want to do is have green on top of green. That's double the green by the time it gets to around 2:00 p.m. and there's still about three more hours of revelling to do. Also (and this one is for the guys), don't just start wining up on women you don't know. Some may oblige while others might box you harder than Ali in his prime.

Cameras

Oh, and try to stay away from the cameras. The last thing you need is to show up for work Monday only to have everybody snicker when you pass or say something like, "Go deh, road march king," in a slightly less than muffled tone. Furthermore it might not go down well with the boss if he sees you frolicking on the tube when you told him you were visiting your mother and couldn't work this weekend! Even your best Shaggy impersonation (it wasn't me) might not save the rump that you were swinging mightily the day before.

So, for all those going out to have a good time, have fun, stay safe and for the most part, behave yourself.