Q Doctor, my wife has astonished me by asking me to buy her some of those 'sex aid' things.

We have been married for 17 years, and I thought we had a pretty good sex life. Certainly, I was satisfied with everything. But last month, she told me where there wasn't enough 'variety' in our lovemaking.

She said she had been having a little trouble in discharging recently - though I must admit, doc, I had not noticed that. Also, she said that her sexual desire had not been as good as it should be.

It appears that she has been talking to some kind of counsellor or marriage therapist, and that lady advised her that it would be a good idea to start using these 'marital aids'.

Well, I am a sexy guy and I thought I had always given my wife just what she wanted in bed. However, if she feels that she needs those sex aid things, I will be happy to get them for her.

But I would like to know what exactly they are, doc. And can you reassure me that these things would not kind of replace me in bed?

Also, what can they do that I cannot do?

A I think it is good that you are broad-minded enough to accept that your wife might benefit from the help provided by a sex aid. Let me tell you that these things sell by the million nowadays.

Vast numbers of women use them, and they are particularly popular in the over-35 age group. To some extent, they are 'fun' things. But they can also play a valuable role in helping some females to discharge.

Also, there is some evidence from research in the USA that these 'marital aids' can help build up a lady's libido, if it has been a little lacking in strength lately.

You ask whether those sex aids could 'replace' you in bed. No, I do not think that is possible. Although I have been consulted by many female patients who liked using sexual aids, I do not think that any of them wanted to do without men!

No, in pretty well all cases, the lady uses the marital aid as a sort of bonus to her sex life with her guy. Either the man or the woman can apply the device to the woman's personal parts, in order to 'turn her on', and to help her discharge.

You also ask me to tell you precisely what a sex aid can do that you cannot do. Well, the main thing is that many of them can vibrate real fast. And it has been shown that very quick vibration stimulates a woman's erotic nerve endings with great efficiency. No human being can match the speeds of these things, once they get buzzing.

So what sort of things are we talking about? Well, sex aids include:

Vibrators: These are by far the most popular aids. They are mainly designed to 'buzz' on the clitoris, but can also be employed in the vagina.

Clitoral stimulators: These are little rings which fit on the guy's organ. They have a projection which is supposed to rub against the lady's clitoris during intercourse.

Dildoes: These are really 'substitute penises'. Some women like to have them inside the vagina while the guy is busy doing something else to some other part of the body.

Butt plugs: These are little devices which stimulate the lady's bottom.

Geisha balls: These are small spheres which go inside the vagina and move around, thereby stimulating its walls.

Cages: These are devices which fit over the man's organ. They feature various projections which rub against the woman's vaginal walls, and so stimulate the erotic nerve endings. It is the same principle as the 'ribbed' or 'bumpy' condom.

Suction cups: These fit over the clitoris and 'draw it out', often vibrating at the same time. Remarkably, the US Food and Drug Administration has approved one of these inventions, for the purpose of improving female libido.

I cannot say that your wife would necessarily like all of the above. But the probability is that she will be helped by some of them.

I feel that you should begin by purchasing a simple vibrator for her. But please do not just pick the one that you like the look of!

Instead, find a website that offers a range of vibrators, and invite her to pick the one that she likes the best. Then get it for her.

I wish you both well. I am sure that a well-chosen sex aid will assist your lady to enjoy a wonderful 'bedroom life' with you.

Q I am 39, and have to have a breast removed shortly because of cancer. Will this mean that my husband will no longer be attracted to me?

ADo not fret. Research has shown that most husbands find their wives just as attractive after a mastectomy (breast removal) operation.

Please note that it is sometimes possible to take another operation which creates a new and realistic breast. I wish you well.

QMy husband and I have been trying to conceive for two years. We desperately want a baby.

What can we do?

A Both of you must consult a doc who is good on the subject of fertility. The doc will check you both out, and then arrange some tests.

In the meantime, live as healthily as you can, avoiding alcohol, nicotine and other drugs. Make sure that you have sex about half way between your menses - when you are likely to be at your most fertile.

QI am 40, and was very attractive until 2006. Since that year, my breasts have increased by two cup sizes to 36D, and growing. I have not put on any weight elsewhere.

This has considerably lowered my self-esteem, because I don't like to look in a full-length mirror any more. Nor do I like it when anyone comments about my breasts!

Do I have a hormone problem, doc? Can any medication reduce my breasts? I am thinking of having 'breast reduction surgery'. But are there any side effects?

ASorry to hear that you have been fretting. Sometimes the breasts do just get bigger, for instance, when someone is in love, or if they adopt a different lifestyle.

No, I don't think you have a hormone problem. You could get your female hormone levels tested, but my guess is that they will be normal.

Sorry, but I do not think there is any medication which will reduce the breasts. Taking breast reduction surgery is certainly an option, but it does carry the risks of pain, bleeding and infection. Also, the cosmetic result is not always what the lady wants!

Frankly, I wonder if your real problem is with self-esteem. I would urge you to go to a counsellor who can help you with this. Good luck.

QI am a guy of 42, and my foreskin will not roll back.

Am I too old for a circumcision, doc?

ANot at all. You should go ahead. It will help the sex life.

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