Mary J. Blige - File

Since the release of her first album in 1992, Mary J. Blige has dug into the deepest corners of her life, taking her listeners through her struggles with addiction, depression and finding love. Now, happily married and content, Blige has a new well of emotions to draw from. Growing Pains defies the conventional wisdom that ageing works against female entertainers because just like fine wine, Mary has got better with age. Archna Sawjani of The Voice reports.

You have taken a different direction with this album and especially with the single. Were you worried at all?

Well, I knew it was a little different from what Mary J. Blige fans were used to. There were a lot of people who were like 'we like Mary better miserable', but it's time that I really stand up for Mary and say 'you know what? Some days are not that bad anymore!' I used to have horrifying days, but now I'm going to celebrate the days that are just fine. It's OK to share with people that it's OK. It's OK to have a good day and celebrate that.

Like you said, you've had some horrifying days. Does the negative feedback you've received for saying you're 'just fine' hurt you?

It hurts a little bit because if people really understood the life that I have lived then, they would be happy for me. You know what it has been like? One terrible thing happening after the next! It's like standing on a rug and someone keeps pulling that rug from underneath time after time, so you keep falling to the ground. That's what my life has been like. So, yeah it does kind of hurt when people say that they prefer me miserable, but I understand because that's what they are and that's all they know. They refuse to grow, so I can't do anything more for them. I have to move on.

What do you personally think of this album compared to your others?

Coming from the place that I am coming from, it's a pretty good start. It still has passion, fire and truth from the state of mind that I'm in right now. There is no lying; it is what it is. Things are not all great, don't get me wrong, but I can't put that out to the universe and be so ungrateful after God has given me so much. He's given me a second chance.

You have always been so honest in your music. Your albums almost feel like personal diaries. Is it hard for you to put that out there for everyone to judge?

Well, I started out my career like that, so if I did anything different from that then my fans will just be like, "how could you leave us out here like this? You went through all this stuff. Now you're changing your life, getting yourself together and we need to know how you are doing this so we can follow. We're following you because there is something about you that helps us". I have to continue to show them how I am doing this. I got to put that positive energy out in the universe.

What do you think of R'n'B music right now? What artistes do you enjoy?

I feel there are a few things or people that mean something. Amy Winehouse's music means something. Alicia Keys' music means something, as far as the instruments and how organic her music is. You have some good artistes, but lyrically I don't know what's going on. Are people really living what they are singing about? Did they really experience that? Are they capable of explaining to us what they are living or are they just playing a part because somebody said that they could? I just feel it's the same story, and the same video where everybody looks exactly alike. There's no real leadership. No one's really standing up except Amy Winehouse. She is the perfect example. If you look at truth, leadership and honesty in music, she's probably the best thing in the business right now. Jill Scott; she continues to do what she does. As far as entertainers, Beyoncé is an entertainer, but at the same time you cannot take away from Beyoncé that she can really sing. Although she is a pretty girl, she really is more than just that. Rihanna has a lot of courage. There are a lot of chicks that would not dare take the risks that Rihanna has taken. So yeah, there are a few people right now in the industry that I am enjoying, but as far as the state of it, it's redundant.

You have a lot of similarities with Amy Winehouse, both musically and personally. Battling drug addiction yourself, what do you think Amy needs to do to get on the straight and narrow?

It's an environment thing. When I was at my point of self-destruction, there wasn't anything anyone could do for me. I couldn't hear and I didn't want to hear anything. If you took (the drugs) away from me, the one thing that at that time I thought was saving my life and making my life more bearable, I would have fired you! Amy probably has a bunch of people around her that are 'yes' people and agreeing with everything she says and wants because they want to keep their cheque, you know? I really don't think there's anything you can say that she can hear right now. Until she's ready to hear, no one will be able to get through to her.

Would you want to collaborate with Amy?

Absolutely! I would love to collaborate with her.

What saved you from drugs and got you to the point where you could make songs like Just Fine?

I've got to give the credit to God. As cliché as that sounds, he's real in my life. I was praying for God to send me a way and to get me out of this. So many people were dying around me. My best friend died, and then Aaliyah passed, and then the whole of New York City blew up with the World Trade Center and I remember wondering if I was next. I got tired of living that way and I did not want to die, so it was either keep doing what I was doing and eventually die from it, or walk through the fire of getting myself well. The only way and reason I got through that fire was with the help of the Lord. He really helped me! I'm not a religious fanatic, but he really did help me. He saved my life.

So a lot of people turned against you?

Oh yeah. So many people I thought cared about me, who were my friends, but I forgive them. They didn't know; they were just going based on what they saw. They saw me self-destructing and they thought I was going to die. They thought I was finished.

After successfully battling through drug addiction, how did it make you feel when the press recently said you were using steroids?

It's OK. It really is OK. Every other year they say something. I think last year I was getting a divorce, and recently I was pregnant! Way before that, someone said that I was a man and I got a sex change and I'm really a transvestite. What's next? It all comes with the territory. These people thrive on negativity; that's their battery. There's nothing I can do about it except keep working hard for everything I have and I don't have to prove anything to anyone. My life speaks for itself.

Do you plan to have children in the future?

Right now there are no plans, as the house is full.

What is it like being a stepmum? How do you get on with your stepchildren?

I love it! I love them so much. They are the most honest people. I find them a real influence in my life.

How about married life?

Marriage is a challenge. I have never been married before. You have no idea how marriage has changed me. I have never been with a man who says he loves me as much as he does. I didn't believe in anything like that. I'm challenged to believe in him and trust him and it's hard, but I'm doing it. Growing Pains is about trying to trust a man when you've never trusted one before.

What is it like to work with and be married to your husband at the same time?

It's so hard sometimes. It takes so much patience and you have to know how to separate the job from the marriage. Because he's used to being married to you, when you ask him a question he's like, "yeah, yeah, I'll get back to you" and I'm like "I'm your client right now, so I need some answers!" So yeah, it's tough.

So, this is your eighth studio album. What do you want your legacy to stand for when you finish recording?

I want them to know that I was with them in a struggle. That I was there and that I was truthful and honest; I was a more than a conqueror. When people doubted me and said I couldn't, I pushed through with my faith and love for the Lord, and said, "I can!" When people laughed at me, and said, 'Oh there goes that God girl again,' I said, "whatever!" God is real in my life. So I was in it with them. I was truly a leader for them and with them.

Does making music still satisfy you?

The music is the first love. It's so innocent. It's the business that can wear and tear on you. If it wasn't for my fans and the love that I have for music, then I would have quit by now for sure. The business is horrible, so horrible!

Do you see a lot more albums in your future?

As long as my fans are willing to grow with me, I will continue to make music. There will be a time that I will be like "OK, I am just going to chill out now" and every five years just make whatever kind of record I make. I don't know if there will be time where I will say I am done with music completely.

What do you make of the comparisons to people like Keyshia Cole?

The only reason why people probably compare us is because we both have a story. That's about it. As far as her looking like me and wearing her hair like mine, as far as I'm concerned that's about imaging. As far as who she is on the inside, I can't see myself in her.

What other goals do you have?

I definitely want to do some acting. That's something I feel like I will be able to do. There's a lot of stuff in me. Stuff that I have lived and experienced that I would like to target on film. To show people Nina Simone through Mary J. Blige, or to show people Billie Holiday's life. I have experienced so much and have places within me where I can draw from to make certain stories and emotions come to life.

Do you have any regrets in life?

You really can't blame anyone if you don't know any better. I can't really blame the music business for robbing me because I didn't know any better. I didn't have an education. I didn't finish high school - I dropped out of 11th grade. I wish I went to college and I wish I had an education, so that would probably be the only thing that I really do regret in my entire life. Everything else I went through really was horrible, but honestly I am so glad that I went through it. It hurt but it's made me who I am today.

In the past you had a battle with loving and accepting yourself. Have you found your inner confidence?

I am in a place where I have more days where I can say "you're alright, you're not Halle Berry, but you're alright".

Come on, Mary.

I'm not, though! Let's really be real. I'm always very honest with myself. I know I am a very different looking chick. I have to accept what I have and just be cool with that.

So tell me right now, are you happy?

Well (pauses). Yeah, I am going to say yes I am happy because I understand that there will be hard times and that is what allows me to be happy - the acceptance of the pain. That is why I called the album Growing Pains because I can accept the fact that in those hard times I am going to grow and get better.