Rosemary Parkinson, Contributor

On January 19, Giles Coren, a restaurant critic with The Times (London) magazines wrote about his culinary trip to Jamaica. His review begins with an illustration of a black waiter in a cadet's white uniform bearing a dish with a can of salmon on it. This review shows why I beg restaurants/hotels to make their culinary offerings tasty, Jamaican home-made and gourmet. The world has become one big food stop. Travellers want to taste what the land has to offer. And now, a critic's visit could ruin in one sweep Jamaica's chance as a culinary destination. But ...

While Coren does not name the hotel, he puts the cost at £500 a night, says it's next door to a popular hotel chain and just down the bay from Jamaica Inn. He writes: "The hotel, turned out to be just bland international posh - aircon, wi-fi, staff in gloves, tiny private beach next door.

Iced eggnog

More disparaging remarks about iced eggnog at Christmas (you shoulda stayed 'ome fi yu hot nog Christmas, Coren) brings him in desperation to enter a jerk shack. Now Ochi's forte is not jerk but hear de man: "There are thousands of these places, all looking pretty similar - a wooden front painted red or yellow, somebody's namepainted on it, a hole for a door, smoke coming out of the roof, chickens running around out the back and an old Rasta muttering to himself and nodding a lot between mouths full of rum.

"The chaps loitering around inside were yellow-eyed and slow-moving, the fire was wide and red-hot, covered with a metal grille torn from the window of a prison. Pork and chicken sizzled on it. A fat woman sprinkled seasoning from a hessian bag. Lips were licked. I sucked on a Red Stripe. A paper plate was laid before me, belly pork, chicken wings, some pepper sauce in a bottle. This, at last, was the real thing. I took a bite. Inedible. Tragically, dynamically, pathetically bad. Gritty with stale pepper, dry, chewy meat that wadded my teeth without any flavour at all. Grim, grim, grim. And I don't even want to talk about the loos."

Well, well, well. Thousands of jerk spots in Ochi? Anyhow, befo' you travel to a country for food, Mr Cohen, try to study the business. One does not walk into any jerk stand. One asks a local for his spot for the best jerk and sauce. Timing is important with jerk for those not-too-overcooked pieces.

GOOD ENOUGH FOOD

While we in the Caribbean do know our problems, and are trying to get the product improved, we have moved away from what you as colonists taught us (i.e. that our food is not good enough to serve visitors). I would also like to point out that had it not been for all the influences of the French, Turkish, Chinese and yes! the Caribbean, the British would still be eating boiled beef, cabbage and potatoes, going to a freezing loo in the back of the yard outhouse. Touché.

If de real Jamaica is what you really want Giles Coren, next time, let me show it to you!