Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson

Dear Counsellor:

My husband is suffering from premature ejaculation. As soon as he starts, he ejaculates and I am left unsatisfied. This has been going on for more than a year. I am thinking of getting a boyfriend because I need love and attention.

- Sonia

Dear Sonia:

It is unfortunate that your husband has premature ejaculation. However, it is a condition that is treatable. You and your husband should go and see a urologist. An evaluation of sexual behaviour and performance is needed. There are several causes of premature ejaculation and a comprehensive evaluation is needed. Both of you may need to see the sex therapist to get some help with the problem.

Sex is one of the many activities that couples are involved with. There are many ways to show affection in a relationship. There should be lots of hugs, kisses, caressing and touching. A reduction of anger and aggression is needed in the relationship. Treat each other with respect and discuss the way forward. Sometimes, the husband is stressed, depressed or anxious and this will interfere with his sexual performance.

I would not recommend that you find a boyfriend. There are many problems that can arise from this. You may get sexually transmitted diseases including HIV. Both of you can benefit from marriage counselling as well as sex therapy.

Losing weight

Dear Counsellor:

I have a teenage daughter who is losing weight and isolating herself. She doesn't like to eat and whenever she eats, she will induce vomiting and the food is brought up. This has been going on for some time now. I have tried to find out what is going on with her, but she is not telling me.

- Marcia

Dear Marcia:

Many teenagers are having problems with food. Some teenagers want to lose weight and look like the models that they see in the media. Some of them have a medical condition called eating disorder. These individuals usually induce vomiting after eating. Your daughter may have this condition. She may not like the appearance of her body, so she is trying to lose weight. This is a serious condition, so you should take your daughter to a psychiatrist and an internist. We need to sort out her physical and her emotional state.

The exact reason for eating disorder is unknown. One theory is that these individuals are trying to gain control over their bodies. They will have various physical problems because of the binging and vomiting.

Your daughter needs a psychiatric evaluation because she might also be suffering from depression or anxiety. Counselling is necessary as well as self-esteem building. Many times a dietitian is needed to map out a diet programme for the individual.

Contact: Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson; 978-8602, 791-1778; or email: yvonniebd@hotmail.com.