Q Doc, I have just met a wonderful new guy, and I think I love him. To find love at my time of life (44) is wonderful. And sex with him is great.
However, there is one unusual thing about him. He wants me to remove all my pubic hair.
When I asked him why he wanted me to do it, he said, that first of all, it would be 'more hygienic', and that second, 'it would turn him on'.
I do not really mind doing this for him, doc, but is it safe? Are there any health risks?
Also, how do I go about removing my pubic hair? No one has ever asked me to do this before! And I dare not ask any of my friends.
A Well, it is important to realise that many men - and indeed women - find pubic hair quite sexy. However, in the last few years there has been a remarkable and worldwide trend towards removing it. Why?
The main reason seems to be the influence of porno films, videos and DVDs. In these productions, a very high proportion of the women - and indeed, some of the men - have little or no pubic hair at all. Also, in a lot of today's 'pin-up' magazines, most of the girls have no hair, or just a thin strip of it, immediately above the clitoris.
All this has given some male readers and viewers the idea that it is pretty normal to be without hair in that area of the body. And a lot of women have simply decided to 'follow the fashion'.
However, let me deal with your new boyfriend's first reason for asking you to go bare: his claim that to be hairless in the pubic area is somehow 'more hygienic'. Despite what he says, this is nonsense, medically speaking. There is absolutely no scientific evidence that it is better health-wise to get rid of your 'sex hair!'
His second reason for asking you to remove your hair is that the sight of a 'nude' vulva turns him on. There is nothing very unusual in that, for it is undeniable that quite a lot of guys feel the same.
Some people have criticised males who like to see a hairless vaginal opening, claiming that this sort of preference must indicate paedophilic tendencies - since, of course, young girls do not have any hair at all.
I am not really convinced by that argument. Personally, I think it more likely that many guys prefer a hairless groin because it enables them to see more of the lady's anatomy.
Be that as it may, I urge you to make up your own mind as to whether you really want to divest yourself of your pubic hair. Please bear in mind that if you just shave it off, it will regrow - and that you will probably be a little itchy and uncomfortable when this happens!
Options
If you decide to go ahead, what are the options? The main ones are:
Using a 'depilatory' cream. Remember that such products can occasionally cause distressing 'sensitivity' reactions. So if you decide to use this method, first test the cream on the skin of your arm, to make sure that you are not allergic to it.
Waxing. Removal by waxing hurts at the time, but most women seem to put up with that very bravely! I would recommend that you do NOT do it yourself, but ask a qualified beauty practitioner if she will undertake it.
Electrolysis. This is a method used by some beauty salons. It hurts a little, but if it is done by an expert, most hairs will not regrow.
Laser treatment. This also pains the lady a little, but it works well. There is usually some regrowth.
Shaving. This is used by many women. But you have to be real careful how you use the razor, taking care not to cut your delicate tissues. Special razors designed for pubic shaving are now available on the Internet, but I have no knowledge of how good they are.
Note: I would advise that you DON'T have sex for a day or two after removing the pubic hair, as you may be a little tender in the area.
QI am a guy of 37, and I have just been unfaithful to my wife - for the first time ever.
I feel real bad about this, doc. I am wondering what are the chances that I might be bringing home VD, and giving it to my wife?
AIt depends a lot on whom you had sex with. If it was a 'lady of the night', then the chances are higher.
My advice to you is to go to a doc or clinic and have a check-up, including tests for the common types of VD. Don't have sex with your wife till you have been told that you are OK.
Q Doctor, I am female, in my early 40s, and not sexually active. I have been diagnosed with 'high cholesterol'.
So I have been following a diet sheet, and taking medication. But the tablets seem to be giving me real painful headaches, plus a dizzy feeling and a low energy drive. What can I do about this bad headache?
APeople should not take tablets that give them bad side effects, such as this severe headache. There are various other medications which lower cholesterol, so please ask your doc to switch you to another pill right away.
You should also try to get some exercise, as that will help get the cholesterol down.
Q We have been married for over five years, and have been trying to conceive. We have been to a number of specialists, but are now thinking of 'in vitro fertilisation' (IVF).
But a friend said to us that IVF would not succeed if we are 'not compatible'.
So could we get a test to find out if we are compatible?
AYour friend is mistaken. Except under very unusual circumstances, sperms and eggs should be compatible. I wish you success in your quest to conceive a child.
Q I am 27, and my boy friend is 38. He is a nice guy, but he don't satisfy me. The reason is that after he has turned me on he discharges in no time!
I am longing for some good sex, but it is all over far too soon. Could a doctor help him? Or is it just his age?
ANo, it is not his age. This guy has 'premature ejaculation' or 'PE' - which is a subject I have mentioned before in Outlook. It is real common.
The best treatment is an exercise named after the US sexologists Masters and Johnson. The couple do this together, and over a period of months it teaches the guy to 'slow dow'.
An alternative is to take a climax-delaying drug, such as anafranil. Your man should talk to a doc about anafranil, and about the Masters-Johnson method.
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