Q Doc, I am what I suppose you would call a middle-aged lady (45), but still attractive, according to my friends. I would like you to tell me if I have 'gone crazy' as far as sex is concerned.
My problem is that in the last two-three years I have found myself increasingly attracted to young men. I find myself thinking lustfully about guys who are half my age, and who are young enough to be my sons.
And to be frank, doc, I have given in to temptation with a couple of young males. Furthermore - and that is the reason why I am contacting you for advice - I think I am about to have an affair with another younger guy, with whom I seem to have fallen in love. He is 19.
I should explain that I am still slim, and am generally considered to have a good figure, with what I guess are excellent breasts. Quite a lot of guy like me and are attracted to me - and that includes younger ones.
You are probably wondering if I am married. Yes, I am - but the marriage is not going well and my businessman husband 'plays away' a lot, when he is abroad, which is often.
What I want to ask you is whether all this is due to my female hormones? I know a lot of ladies get trouble with their hormones when they are in their 40s.
Maybe it is hormone trouble that is making me attracted to these young guys.
A No, I am sure that you do not have 'hormone trouble'. I know of no hormonal disorder than makes mature ladies want to have sex with young guys.
However, there is no doubt that a lot of women of your age do feel real attracted to males who are less than half their age.
An English researcher looked into this phenomenon recently, and she identified the following factors:
Many ladies in their 40s feel that life is 'passing them by'.
Often, they think that they must try and recapture the joys of youth.
Frequently, their husbands are neglecting them socially and spending little time with them.
In some cases, the lady knows that the husband is having sex with younger women.
Quite frequently, the husband is NOT providing sufficient sexual satisfaction for the wife.
These mature ladies are aware that young men are usually virile and potent - even if these guys may not know much about sex, and tend to discharge too soon.
Finally, a lot of mature women seem to find pleasure in the idea that they might 'initiate' a young male - and teach him a lot of the sophisticated secrets of sex.
Well, now: how many of those points apply to you? I would guess that the answer might be 'quite a few!'
Now, you say that you have 'fallen in love' with this current young guy, who is only 19. I am sure you are well aware that he is 26 years younger than you.
Is seems real likely that you will not be able to resist temptation, and that you will go to bed with this young man. PLEASE use safe sex - because you never know what germs he might be carrying!
Could there be any long-term future for such a relationship? Frankly, I am a little doubtful. Sometimes such unions between women in their 40s and guys who are still teenagers do prosper. But I am mindful of the fact that when you are 65 this man will only be 39. That kind of 'age-gap' partnership is difficult to sustain.
Summing up, I suspect that you are not too happy with your life - and your love-life - at the moment, and that that is why you are turning to young men for consolation.
By all means get your hormone levels tested if you want to. However, I think the best thing to do would be to look at the state of your marriage and see if it can be saved.
If it cannot, then maybe you should divorce. And in the fullness of time, I hope you will find a partner who you love, and who can satisfy your sexual urges. It would not matter at all if he were some years younger than you - if that is what makes you happy. Good luck.
Q Don't laugh at me, doc, but I am 75 and enjoying a wonderful sex life with my wife - who is in her late 60s.
Will this sexual activity do me any harm health-wise?
A None at all - carry on.
Q I am a woman with a urine problem. Doc, I have to pee every 20 minutes, and if I drink water it is more frequent than that.
Why?
A Sounds like you have cystitis, which is inflammation of the bladder and is generally caused from a urinary infection.
In practice, such infections are often due to an unaccustomed bout of sexual activity - or perhaps sex with a new partner.
Please ask a doc to check a specimen of your urine, and to send it to a lab for further tests. You will probably need a short course of a urinary antibiotic.
Also, I do not know how old you are - but if you are over 45, a little vaginal hormone cream might well help you.
Q Doc, my son has been diagnosed as having a 'hole in the heart'.
Would surgery help him?
A Yes. The surgeon-specialist can operate to close up the hole in his heart. After that, the child should be much better.
Q Doctor, I am a woman in my very late 20s, and years ago I made a promise to myself that I would never have sex before marriage - and would never masturbate.
But recently, I have been feeling real 'turned on' by sex, and as a result of this I have started putting my finger in my vagina. Afterwards, I feel very bad.
Two questions:
1. Have I done my body any harm?
2. How do I control my strong sexual feelings when they become so demanding?
A No, you have not done your body any harm, medically speaking. You may have broken your hymen, but that is of no importance health-wise.
Alas, there are no medications that will enable a woman to control her strong sexual feelings. If you want to do that, you would have to try and change the pattern of your thinking - maybe with the help of a counsellor or minister of religion.
However, it does strike me that at the age of nearly 30, maybe you should start looking around for a good and loving man who could be your life-partner - and who could, of course, satisfy those feelings of yours.
Q I am a guy in my 50s, and I have to have prostate surgery. Could this affect my sex life, doc?
A Most definitely! Much depends on just WHICH operation the surgeon plans to do, so you should talk this over with him right now.
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