I have had sex with my fiancé three times now, and it was great on every occasion. But, of course, I did not 'get there'. He noticed that I did not discharge, but he assumed it was just that I was a little tense, because we are so 'new' to each other. I did not tell him that I had NEVER orgasmed.

What must I do, doc? Should I now tell him about my disability? And is there any hope at all that I might climax one day, even though I am now heading rapidly for middle age?

A. Cheer up! There is every hope that you will triumph over this problem. You are talking as though you are really quite old at 38. But that is not the case.

You see, quite a few women do not learn to reach orgasm until they are in their late 30s or their 40s. I have actually seen patients who learned to climax in their 50s. And some recent research in England has suggested that a lot of females do not reach the most orgasmic time of their lives until they have passed the menopause!

So there is plenty time for you. You do not need to rush.

I suggest that you begin by telling your new guy what your situation is. If he is as nice a man as you say he is, his reaction will be that he wants to help you. Indeed, there are some pretty virile guys who regard a non-orgasmic woman as a 'challenge'. In other words, they like the idea of being the one who 'awakens' the lady and teaches her to 'come'.

I hope that will be the case with your man. But also, I want you to take some steps to help yourself - right away.

You obviously have access to the Internet. So I would like you to check out the website of the noted American sex educator Betty Dodson. I guess this woman has helped more females to learn to climax than anyone in the history of the world!

She writes books, and she runs workshops in New York at which ladies go on 'climax courses'. But as far as you are concerned, you will find lots of useful advice on her website about learning to discharge. The website is www.bettydodson.com.

Please be warned that the content of that website is real frank stuff! She is keen on teaching women to discharge by concentrating on their own clitorises - in other words, masturbation. She teaches ladies how to do this with their fingers, and also with vibrators.

I do agree with her concentration on the clitoris as the key to orgasm, because it is unlikely that you will learn to climax unless you have lots of stimulation of your clitoris - if necessary, for hours at a time.

Also, it is important that when you are trying to learn to orgasm - either by yourself or with your new man - you make sure that you are in an environment that is as pleasant, relaxed, unhurried and comfortable as possible. Tension, stress and rush are the 'enemies' of female orgasm.

Some women report that they first learned to achieve climax in an agreeable, secluded, soapy shower. This would certainly be worth trying. Good luck.

A. There is no need to fret. At age 40, you should have at least 30 more years of being able to have sex. It is a medical fact that at age 70, around 70 per cent of guys are still 'potent'. And with the help of modern medication - of the Viagra type - many males are able to have sex until far later than 70.

A. Sounds like this guy has 'premature ejaculation'. This is real common, and it can be treated. Try to persuade him to see a doctor.

A. Improving a low sperm count is very difficult. It is good that you don't smoke and hardly drink. You should try wearing real loose pants, because tight ones raise the temperature of the testicles, and that lowers the sperm count further.

At the moment, your best move is to make sure that you have sex with your wife on her 'ovulation day' each cycle. If this hasn't worked after six months, then you should see a doctor about the possibility of trying some form of artificial insemination.

Bush tea will not help, I'm afraid.

A. Then please consult a doctor this week. You must - repeat MUST - have a rectal examination within the next few days.

The bleeding may just be caused from piles (haemorrhoids), but if you are over 30 it could be something more serious. Don't delay!

A. Well, I do not recommend it to my patients, but there are many couples who do it, and are not harmed by it.

However, it can make the anus (that is, the opening) 'sag' so that the person leaks bowel motions. Also, it can pass on infections, like gonorrhoea ('clap') and HIV.

Finally, a lot of women find it very painful - particularly the first few times they try it.

A. Women frequently 'miss' periods. Unless you are near the menopause, the likeliest causes are stress and anaemia (weak blood). But you should see a doc for a check-up.