KELLY

You know, so many of the things that emanate from our mouths are either very dumb or very offensive. Either way, it's bound to affect somebody negatively.

I was in traffic recently, with my instructor in the passenger seat. Then come a soldier who pull up alongside me and said, "You shoulda a drive long time man!" I merely smiled and turned my head back to the stoplight, waiting for it to turn green. I oh so badly wanted to reply but let it go.

I was offended for two reasons. The obvious one is that it was none of his business considering he's not paying for my lessons and I wasn't driving his vehicle. The more latent reason is that I have chastised myself enough about taking 'this long' to get my driver's licence, so I don't need somebody else who has no idea why I'm 'just' learning to try to make me feel any more guilty. Now, I know that he didn't mean anything by it. I know he didn't think about what he said because he didn't think there would be a problem.

But that's the problem, isn't it? We rarely think about what we say when speaking directly to or about someone. A coworker once told another that she couldn't imagine being as fat as she was. When the young lady immediately frowned, the speaker couldn't fathom why she was upset. Uhmm, could it be because you just said she was fat and not only that, but, that if you were her size, you would consider that a terrible thing? Einstein and I share no DNA but you don't need to in order to realise how that was a dumb thing to say!

And we all do it, don't we? Ribbing somebody you've known since you were five years old is one thing; they're practically immune from anything you have to say by now. Plus, most of the teasing is done in jest and that's how they take it. But there's always a line and many of us don't know where that line is.

Telling a child who you've never met and know nothing about that he/she must be spoiled because he/she is an only child can hurt, especially if that child is the most obedient human being on the planet. They might not mean to offend the child (or more important, the parent who has tried hard to make sure the child is anything but spoiled), but they might. And all because they just spoke whatever came to their minds.

So do yourself a favour; just make sure what's coming out of your mouth, should.

Talk to me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com