Garth Rattray

Fifty-five-year-old Mrs. Mary Johnson (not her real name) has a mansion on the hills, the latest luxury SUV, good looks, bright children, a home overseas, access to loads of money, the envy of her peers, the awe and respect of subordinates and a successful businessman for a husband - but she always appears distant and morose.

Fifteen-year-old Shaniqua Brown (not her real name) lived with her mother, her mother's boyfriend (the 'stepfather') and two siblings in a depressed community. She suddenly became recalcitrant, lippy, neglected her studies and began dressing fastidiously. She started getting home late and 'lived' on the cellphone. Eventually, she became pregnant and dropped out of school.

In spite of their obvious socio-economic and age differences, these patients had something in common; they were both victims of domestic violence. Mrs. Johnson had an extremely jealous husband that used her for convenient sexual intercourse, coerced her into full-time housewifery (for the children's sake, of course) and meticulously controlled the purse strings. She was trapped, disempowered, constantly monitored, shouted down, 'draped up' and even occasionally 'boxed' (slapped in the face) if she remonstrated. Her elegant facade belied her humiliation, depression and suicidal ideations.

World of sex and fun

Shaniqua couldn't understand why her 'stepfather' left her mother's bed to molest her at nights and why her mother (who was solely supported by the 'stepfather') ignored her complaints. Shaniqua lost her virginity, self-respect, trust and respect for adults to the 'stepfather'. She 'escaped' into a world of sex and fun. She became hateful and stuck in a self-appeasement lifestyle that precluded academia and self-actualisation.

Violence against women (physical, sexual and psychological abuse) is so common that to many it's a way of life. It desecrates a woman's human rights and produces life-long psychological and emotional scars. Victims lose their sense of self-worth, become withdrawn or lascivious, depressed and sometimes suicidal. Violence against women isn't just a 'woman thing'; it poses serious public health and security problems. Victims are twice as likely as non-victims to commit violence against their own children. They tend to have multiple sexual partners - which contributes to the spread of sexually transmitted infections, the fragmentation of the family nucleus, the perpetuation of the cycle of abuse and rampant criminality.

Violence against women

Worldwide, violence against women embodies: physical, sexual and psycho-logical/emotional abuse, arranged/forced marriages, forced prostitution, slavery, female genital mutilation and honour crimes (violence, usually murder, committed by male family members against female family members, who are accused of bringing dishonour upon the family).

Yesterday, the Bureau of Women's Affairs (whose objective is 'to enable women to recognise their full potential as individuals and to create avenues for their full integration in National Development), began observing the International Day Against Violence Against Women (IDAVAW) with a church service marking the beginning of 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence. This includes World AIDS Day (December 1) and Human Rights Day (December 10).

Scheduled public events include the reading of a statement on the Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination Against Women by the Honourable Minister Olivia Grange tomorrow in Parliament. On Wednesday, November 28 - 9:00 a.m. at the Terra Nova, Professor Barbara Bailey will chair the opening ceremony for the launch of the United Nations Fund for Population Activities (UNFPA) video on gender-based violence and the official handing over of the National Gender Policy.

This year's activities will focus on the theme 'Women and Men Speak Out! - End Violence Against Women'. For more information call: 754-8575 to 8 or 929-6660.