Angela Philipps, Contributor

Why is it that affianced men, and their friends, for that matter, believe that they are still 'single' at their bachelor parties? In legal status, I guess they are. However, isn't asking a lady to marry you an informal vow to stay committed and faithful to them? Or do guys use it as a time to secure their lady, but get the last bit of 'sowing their seeds' out of the way? And are men more likely to cheat on their partners during this period of engagement than women?

A sordid story

I have just watched the movie A Guy Thing (hence the title of my article this week), starring Jason Lee, Julia Stiles and Selma Blair. The former is marrying the latter, but ends up in bed with one of the dancers from his 'stag do'. He later discovers that said dancer is his fiancée's cousin! All a bit messy, if you ask me, but the point of this article is that his best friend and his father-in-law to be, when finding out the truth, excuse his behaviour because he is male!

A while back, I was going out with a Jamaican (let's call him Charlie) who lived abroad. He was home for Christmas and staying with me. One of his best friends was getting married in the New Year, so a big bachelor party was planned. Charlie went off in the early evening and I went to my bed. At about three in the morning there was a knock on the door. Charlie was home. I let him in, and he proceeded to tell me the sordid details of what had occurred that night.

Acts of infidelity

For starters, the bride's father and brother were the ones who arranged the entire event. They had hired a warehouse, along with a few strippers (or maybe it was a whorehouse!), and organised a full bar service. Well, the ladies of the night did not just take off their clothes. There were all sorts of fondling and suchlike going on. Believe it or not, the bride's father (who was supposedly happily married) was the ring leader in the situation, and soon he had the groom pursuing acts of infidelity which I dare not repeat on paper.

My boyfriend related this story to me with utter amazement. Where he was living, one could never get away with these shenanigans. Unfaithfulness between partners happened, but people were just a lot more discreet about it. And it certainly was not something which members of the girl's family encouraged! It was a totally new concept to him, that one could act so blatantly in front of all these potential wedding guests!

I, on the other hand, was not as shocked. I was living here and I had heard rumours about what went on at these testosterone-filled events, so it really did not come as much of a surprise. This tale was just further evidence and confirmation to me that I'd think very carefully before tying the knot with anyone.

Of course, I do not mean to imply that all men will behave in such a ludicrous manner leading up to their wedding day, but I am perplexed that the male species can sit there and think that the nature of their sex allows them to be this way. Do they truly suppose that there should not, and are not, consequences to all actions? How would a bloke feel if his girl got up to the same thing on her 'hen night'? I've been to many, actually, and have never witnessed a cheating bride. Perhaps I just have nice girlfriends!

But seriously, when you decide that you want to get married to someone, isn't it because you realise you adore thas person? Isn't it true to say that you want to spend the rest of your life being with that person, and that person alone? Am I being naïve to think that love ought to be cherished and honoured? Or is infidelity just a guy thing?

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com