Q I have a serious concern about myself. I am a 19-year-old guy, and it seems like I have some sort of erectile dysfunction.

At times, I am not able to get an erection, despite how much I want to have sex and how beautiful and sexy the woman is.

Doc, I have an attractive girlfriend whom I have been with for several years now, and we have sex pretty much all the time. Whenever I am with her, I don't have any problems in having a good erection. I can even get one by just touching and hugging her.

Indeed, if either of us indicates that we want to have sex, I become stiff immediately. So that's good.

The problem is this: I sometimes find myself being offered sex by other attractive women. But I am NOT able to get an erection.

On a lot of these occasions, the woman and I have gone in for a good deal of foreplay - and I enjoy this. But still I don't get that stiffness.

just floppy

In fact, sometimes I DO get an erection when I am with other women - but this only happens in situations where it would not be possible to have sex right then. And as soon as we do get an opportunity, I find I am 'floppy'.

This embarrassment has happened to me with several different beautiful girls. Recently, I have met this particular lady who I like a lot. I am very attracted to her, and she has said that she really wants to have sex with me. Even when I think about her, I get stiff.

But, of course, I fear what will happen when I try to enter her.

So, is there something physically wrong that is causing this erectile dysfunction? And is there some tablet I could take, so that I can have sex without difficulty?

I would really love to have sex with this beautiful girl, and possibly with other girls, so please help me.

A You may perhaps think that your story is really unusual, but it isn't. I have heard much the same from many, many men.

Let us just look at this logically. You have 'instant' erections when you want to have sex with your long-term girlfriend. However, if you try to have intercourse with anybody else - no matter how beautiful - you just cannot make it.

What deduction would any doctor draw from that? I will tell you. You cannot have a physical illness, because it is quite impossible to have a physical condition that stops you getting stiff with certain women. After all, you can scarcely be allergic to these other young ladies, can you?

PSYCHOLOGICAL problem

The only reasonable conclusion is that this is a PSYCHOLOGICAL problem. Indeed, in most younger males, erectile dysfunction does tend to have a psychological origin.

So I would say with some certainty that what is happening is this: You have been seeing your girlfriend for several years, and you doubtless feel a lot of affection, perhaps even love for her. Deep down, your conscience is telling you that you should be faithful to her.

Now the mind is really powerful where sex is concerned. If it thinks that something is really wrong, it makes the brain send out what are called 'anxiety chemicals'.

These chemicals go round the bloodstream to the penis, and when they get there, they make erection absolutely impossible.

I very often see this situation with middle-age men who try to commit adultery. They get good erections while in bed with their wives. But as soon as they strip off with some other lady, they suddenly find that they cannot manage it! You are in the same boat.

I think you should keep to ONE girl.

And if you do this, the odds are that your erections will be absolutely fine.

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